Coping With My Critics

One Angry Men

One Angry Men

“I’ve been criticized for lots of things I have written,”

Says Dave Copeland about lots of the things that he’s written :: lots is a fun word … let’s use it lots.

Here I go :: criticizing the writtens of Dave Copeland … lots.

“but this is the first time someone used 3,764 words to tear me apart for something I did not write.”

Oh hey :: um … maybe not all 3764 {thanks for counting douche!} words were about what you didn’t have the balls to write? Prolly more like 1200ish :: which is still … lots.

“I’m not going into a blow-by-blow response for one simple reason:

I don’t care.”

He cares just enough to tell us that he doesn’t care … a clear sign of not caring if ever there wasn’t one.

Here are three reasons why Jason Jones a.k.a. Salty Droid can write whatever the fuck he wants about me.

Wait don’t tell me :: let me guess …

1. Because … duh?

2. Because … you’re damn skippy?

3. Because who are you baldy … the fucking Caesar?

Reason Number One: I didn’t write a story. I was hired to write a story. I started reporting the story but didn’t get enough information to write the assigned article, primarily because I gave up when I felt like I was being pressured to spin a story in a certain way. I negotiated a $500 kill fee with Blogworld, the company that hired me for the freelance assignment but ultimately never published a single word about Jones.

Already bored :: and that’s a rationalization Dave … not a “reason” why I can write whatever the fuck I want. It’s not just the ethics of a good writer that Dave Copeland is lacking :: but the writing of a good writer … lots.

I guess not writing is good easy work if you can get it :: maybe Dave Copeland should not write an article about how to get not-writing gigs … and then collect $200.

Reason Number Two: Jones Talks A Bigger Game Than He Plays. I’ll admit I was initially worried when he said he was going to write about me. Jones says what he wants and never lets facts get in the way of his opinions. All of the people he previously targeted on his blog that I was able to get in touch with declined comment. But Jones published his piece nearly three weeks ago and the only reason I know that is he sent me this email last week:

I guess I’m Dave’s only friend :: and his only connection in the biz … so sad. Somebody’s addicted to HARO maybe? Anywayz :: you were saying something not elegant or eloquent about “A Bigger Game Than He Plays” … please continue.

I have no grand illusions about this site: it gets very little traffic. A busy day is 100 visits.

Right okay :: your site ain’t popular :: I see where this is going … or wait … no I don’t.

And while Jones did not link directly to my site, you would have figured more than a few of the people who he claims to have read it would have Googled me and found my personal site.

Yet here’s my blog traffic for the two weeks after he published his post:

i can haz populr?

You would have figured my mentioning that Dave Copeland sucks ass ponies would have been enough to increase Dave Copeland’s webularity™ by a factor of 1.21 gigaklouts :: but your figures would have been inaccurate … like L. Ron Hubbard’s.

In fact :: I’m much less popular than almost all of you think … because while everyone else is lying about their web traffic … I don’t really talk {or give a shit} about mine. I’m obviously more popular than some people who say they get millions of hits per month :: placing this site behind a helpful facade of hugeness constructed of the very lies I seek to destroy … it’s enough to make a fake robot chuckle. You wouldn’t think this should be confusing for a “journalist” who writes and speaks about the webz :: like Dave Copeland does … but poser is the dominate species of web beast and Dave Copeland is to be counted among their numbers.

I’m starting to think Jones is not nearly as spectacular as he thinks he is. It makes you wonder how every post he writes gets dozens of comments and they all seem to sing his praises.

Let me break it down for you ReadWriteStupid :: I have tens of thousands of readers … and many of them are actively engaged with the high quality :: real life relevant :: story content. Fucking Science!

Reason Number Three: Like me, Jason is a dick. But unlike me, Jason is also a narcissistic bully. He’s gotten enough of my attention for one day.”

“gotten” :: “lots” … writing!

Hopefully the bit about me being narcissistic will make it into the memoir Dave’s currently writing about that time he stopped drinking for long enough to write a memoir about that time he stopped drinking.

>;>; bleep bloop

28 thoughts on “Coping With My Critics”

  1. “It makes you wonder how every post he writes gets dozens of comments and they all seem to sing his praises.”

    Well I’ve left the odd comment here that didn’t sing Jason’s praises, and it always turned out to be that I hadn’t researched the topic enough. There’s no great shame in a reader knowing less about the topic than the writer, (in fact, gee, maybe that’s the magic formula for good writing – knowing more than your readers! I’ll write an e-book about it), but writing badly researched articles is another matter. So not writing about Droid was possibly the smartest thing that Dave C has done since not sticking a fork in a power socket as a kid.

    And after looking through Daves “memoir” article linked to above, I can offer Dave some free advice on writing. Don’t write like this:

    “As we drive away from the farm I point out the spot to Kate where I was in April of 1994 when I borrowed my roommate’s car to take a drive and I heard on the radio that Kurt Cobain was dead.”

    That’s a horrible sentence. It’s badly constructed, as you would have noticed had you read it back to yourself out loud. And why exactly did you want to mention that Kate got to see that spot you were in when you heard about Cobain, and that the car was your roommate’s? How does that tie in with anything else in the article? What’s the significance for anyone else? Would Kate herself even be interested in reading that?

    And don’t jump around between past and present tense. And don’t write long stretches in present tense unless it’s really powerful and gripping stuff. (NB: If it contains photos of your breakfast, it’s not likely to be sufficiently suspenseful.)

    Admittedly I stopped reading your article two thirds of the way through (heh heh) but the whole thing is really quite pointless.

    …And you’ve got another 20,000 words that you might have lost, but might not have lost, but at least you didn’t lose the 30,000 words which you could have lost, etc… Look, it’s probably a good idea to start off on something a bit safer than “Why The Salty Droid is Fucked”, but “What I had For Breakfast (fully illustrated)” is maybe playing it a bit too safe for a “professional writer”, don’t you think?

  2. I kinda love the fact that the only comment on his entry is the pingback from here.

    I guess the only way I could have prevented such an “attack” on my integrity is to do the journalistic equivalent of a handjob and pretend Jason’s point of view – which, simply speaking, is anyone who makes money from their blog must be a criminal – is my own.

    I think the Droid’s POV might be more accurately described as The Emperor Of Make Money As A Professional Blogger Has No Fucking Clothes On, but whatever works, right?

    1. @Holy Sh-,

      Interesting that he thinks it’s intelligent to call the Verge article (which he linked to there) a journalistic handjob, while complaining about attacks on his integrity. Lots of integrity there… lots and more lots.

  3. The main picture in the post + this statement:

    “Hopefully the bit about me being narcissistic will make it into the memoir Dave’s currently writing about that time he stopped drinking for long enough to write a memoir about that time he stopped drinking.”

    = AWESOME!

    I hope your work is productive but I am definitely have been missing the jokes!

  4. So Dave Copeland confesses to being a “dick?” Well, if nothing else, at least he knows himself.

    After reading Salty’s previous post referencing Copeland, I didn’t feel compelled to seek out his website. I mean, if someone makes himself out to be a tool, why on earth would anyone want to be exposed to more of the same? It would be like asking for a second helping of Salmonella.

    There’s also a difference between simply “singing someone’s praises” and being in agreement with them. If sharing SD’s principles and his disdain for scammers constitutes “singing praises,” well, bring on the chorus!

  5. I have independent verification that Salty is big on the Internet. Someone linked one of my posts deep in the comments of a post here and sent 113 people to my blog in a day.

    And I get 20-30 hits any time I post a comment. This is compared to when I posted on the blogs of self-described Interbutts gurus and got nothing.

    And then Salty was the gurus

  6. As well as not liking SD, Copeland did not like a fellow who thought that Social Media is Bullshit…

    Giving a very cursory look at Social Media is Bullshit,

    …I think some readers will find a fair amount to like about it.

    There is a bit of a theme here from Copeland. He might be trying to get attention. Not sure if he deserves it.

    However – he is unintentionally helping to sell books such as Social Media is Bullshit, which is a good thing.

  7. I read your blog all the time even if I don`t comment. But when I do, I drink Dos Equis. No wait, I comment here. Yeah the last one.

  8. Gimli? He’s a Dwarf.
    Legolas? He’s an Elf.
    Zaphod Beeblebrox? He’s just this guy, you know?

    Dave Copeland? He’s just some hack writer. He can’t even just lose gracefully to an RR5D4 unit, he’s gotta bitch about it.

    Still on the Internet it seems bitchy gets more hits than grace.

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

  9. I’ve never commented here before because I’ve never felt anything but pity for Jason and his band of retarded followers. But this time you’ve gone too far. Dave Copland is a stand up guy and someone who Ed Dale and I have worked with extensively.

    You’re clearly a talented writer Jason. It’s such a shame that you are batting for the wrong team. We’ve put wheels in motion that will ensure you won’t be online for very much longer.

      1. @Ryan Healy, it will be a bluff. He might think it is a real threat (because Ed Dale will have told him it is a real threat and told him to post here like a good little monkey) but it will just be the Ed Dale club shitting themselves again at the thought of SD getting closer to them.

      2. I am pretty sure that Jason has heard similar threats/bluffs before.

        I wouldn’t have the stomach for this sort of thing but I am always curious what his internal reaction is to it.

        Does he know he has the moral/legal high ground and there is nothing that can legitimately done or is there some since of uneasiness that something is coming that he may not be expecting.

        I am not expecting any comment just talking out loud of what comments like this make me think.

        I would LOVE some day to see this put into a book. To get a behind the scenes account of the life of “Salty” during this period in his life.

        It would actually be very educational. Most people, myself included, don’t have the ability/stomach to fight against something that they know is wrong. This site embodies an extreme amount of courage and conviction.

        Plain and simple it takes balls … big brass robot balls … to do what is being done here.

        Great work!!

        1. @RT ::

          My internal reaction is as follows …

          I highly fucking doubt that was Dan Raine … because very few/zero douche canoes have ever threatened me directly. I’m intimidating as fuck all :: in case you’ve never noticed … and calling me out in public like that doesn’t happen. I also don’t think Dan would use the word “retarded.”

          Dan Raine can eat a bag of turds, but if he didn’t leave that comment and lets me know by email … I’ll change the name on it.

          It’s very uncool to represent yourself as someone that you’re not.

          1. @SD,

            So maybe not Dan Raine. You have given us glimpses into some of the crazy/stupid shit that some of these guys have attempted.

            I think we can all admit that most wouldn’t be able to deal with all of that … even if they did possess your training/knowledge base.

            I think that is why I always come back here. I love that you publicly stand against the bad shit you see in the world.

            Most people don’t do that or at least would have retreated long ago at the first sign of resistance.

            From what I can see what you are doing here is incredibly unique.

    1. @Dan Raine, go back to whatever rock Ed Dale let you crawl out of. For anyone that doesn’t already know, Dan Raine is Ed Dale’s performing monkey and so called business partner. Google Dan Raine mankini to see just how low this prick will go to lick Ed Dale’s ass.

    1. @Richard,

      Ah, but he’s not practicing, you see, so it’s all good.

      But seriously–I dunno that it’s fair to cast all attorneys as the scum of the earth. I know of several non-evil lawyers now. It might make more sense to see law practice as a Mike Rowe Dirty Job, but with a suit and tie.

      Furry cows moo and decompress.

    2. @Richard, need to correct your comment.

      Should read “The guy that run this site writes about the scum of the earth.”, i.e., IM con artists.

      On my personal list of scumbaggery, I rank pedophiles #1 and “make money online” internet marketers at #2.

      Lawyers are way down on the list.

  10. It’s always funny when people accuse the Salty Droid of writing with no facts. This is like one of the most well researched and evidence-backed websites ever. Every post is full of direct quotes, links to primary sources, and crazy how-did-you-get-this audio and video.

    1. It’s cute how you create sock puppet accounts to agree with yourself, Jason. It must be a lot like what you imagine sex to be.

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