In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
A whole fucking week without me! Oh lord how you must have suffered :: stuck contemplating the trivialities of your own banal existence :: void of humor and style :: lost like an ugly child at the State Fair … wandering around in pig/chicken shit … crying out for your momma and licking the residue of liquid cheese from inside the ocean bound plastic that served up your SuperNachoCornDog™. Whatever :: I’m back! Shut up and do everything I tell you.
Speaking of finger food pig fuckers :: Ed Magedson.
Ed Magedson is the bloated sow responsible for the Rip-Off Report. He’s an advocate for the consumer he is. According to several Ed Magedsontribute sites {registered by Ed Magedson} …
Salty Droid headquarters is being relocated due to an outbreak of bordomites. Bordomites :: in case you’ve never heard of them :: are a thing I just made up that force you to relocate. {sorry stalkers :: you’ll have to start all over}
Several days without the …. OMG … NO! :: I can’t say it.
Some ungrateful customers of James Arthur Ray want their money back just because there is a zero percent chance of receiving the {totally bad for you} goods for which they pre-paid thousands of dollars. The fuckin’ audacity of some people! I mean really :: Death Ray is tweeting his knowledge turds :: and making his shit home movies available free of fucking charge :: it’s his gift to you.
But no :: nothing is good enough to satisfy a bunch of big babies wearing whining whiner wuss pants :: who are all like: “Hey, I’m a real person and $8,000 is kind of a lot of money to me.” Pssh :: whatever! Maybe you should mortgage yourself a Beverly Hills Mansion and drop the poverty mentality :: it’s the very thing keeping you from manifesting your unicorn dreams.
A class action lawsuit filed on behalf of ripped-off customers alleges that James Arthur Ray:
Bob Proctor and James Arthur Ray are lifetime BFF’s {which is NOT to imply that they tongue kiss and share needles … or is it? … no it isn’t … unless it is}. Neither has even the slightest whiff of credentialing or legitimacy :: yet both have been able to part people from enormous amounts of money in trade for low-grade mouth-borne donkey-shit.
Death Ray needs to take more money from his victims fast so that he can funnel it to lawyers and PR consultants on his way to jail for being a rotting fish stick of a murdering prick. One {pathetic and desperate} way to try and raise funds is to send out emails hawking other people’s frauducts. You’d think it would be hard for James “I Kill People” Ray to find people to partner with :: but Bob has decided to stand by his man …
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
Millions of days later God was like, “And let there be an Internet, because shit is getting boring around here,” and there was an Internet. God saw that the Internet was good, and he started calling it “the webz” because he’s a huge fan of icanhascheezburger.
But woe, cameth The Trolls. And God saw that the trolls were not good and said, “OMG Lame! But really, what can I do? You people suck.”
