In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Russell Brunson has had a rough life. Growing up :: all he had was everything :: and you know how hard that can be. Okay maybe you don’t {loser!} :: but that’s your own fault for not manifesting the right kind of parents.
The High Priest of Mormon hypocrisy fought his first round with The Salty Droid last November. Unfortunately for fans of talking turds :: and mirroring ALL of his “important” wrestling matches :: the fat bitch lost! The post exposed Brunson as the owner of a high pressure sales floor that pedophile loving Garden Gnome Mike Filsaime was using to try and fleece people for their maximum remaining credit card balance. Really fucking nice. It also called out the MicroContinuity program as obvious bullshit {duh!} :: and reported that he was trying to sell the company.
Felicia Fonseca’s latest article about James Arthur Ray is currently being picked up by all sorts of fancy schmancy news agencies around the world. But in open support of Chiang Kai-shek :: The Droid is linking to it at Taiwan News. That’s right :: I’ve just officially recognized Taiwan :: suck on that China .. you big red bullies! Chinese authorities couldn’t be reached for comment about this bold :: some say provocative :: move by The Droid. But one imagines they’d say something like: “Big trouble for you coming soldier boy.”
You’ll recall :: unless you’re back on the PCP :: that Death Ray’s bail was set at $5 million. He’d only need to post a small fraction of that to get out on bond :: but in spite of a generous Salty Droid fundraiser :: he’s still rotting in jail. On the plus side … maybe his balls will grow back now that he can’t inject himself with steroids and hormones {but probably not}.
Josh and Megan Fredrickson :: two beautiful humanitarians looking to make the world a better place. Do they sometimes have to cover up a death {or four} to finish the world changing work of the fake lord? Megan: “I, uh, no, I mean maybe, I don’t quite … yeah … okay totally! But just a few small ones. Is it cold in here … or is that just my soullessness?”
Megan and Josh have been with J-Ray since way back in the day. A rumor {just started by me} says that the three of them first hooked up via an awkward CraigsList three-way in a Minneapolis Airport … but J-Fred tells the story like this {pdf of Josh’s November interview with investigators} …
“In 2001, my current wife she wasn’t then Megan and I we went to an event for Herbalife which is a nutritional product we were selling nutritional products for Herbalife and James was a keynote speaker there. And so that was our first exposure to him.”
Running low on your supply of James Arthur Ray? Miss the spray on tan and empty blood shot eyes? Longing for the tucked in t-shits and shorts {with belt and baby bump}? Been too long since someone told you something someone else already said better?
Well then you’re in Harmonic Luck™ :: because this President’s Day ONLY the Droid Turd Shop e-Portal-2.0-Hub™ is offering 50% {or more} off ALL of our Death Ray related products. My fake secretary Debbie says I’m crazy for letting these items go at such rock bottom prices. But I say :: “Debbie :: honestly :: you’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Tell me you’re kidding me :: because I swear to god I’ll throw a chair at you!” She’s such an idiot.
“A Revolutionary Approach from your New Partner and Friend…”
Your new friend will speak at your next lame corporate thingy. He’ll suck and everyone will be bored to exhaustion :: but work always sucks :: so what did you expect?
Mania Megan Fredrickson is the Director of Operations for the prestigious seminar/death company James Ray International. JRI has a small staff of poorly paid employees :: and a large staff of dreamy slave labor. Megan is James Ray’s right thigh man :: oh did I say thigh? :: cause I meant to say hand. No … I meant thigh.
“And then throughout the lodge just be a support for him and I guess mostly that means when he would physically stand up to put the water in he’d have to walk back and it’s completely pitch dark so I’d put my hand out so he’d know hey, I’m about to get to the back, or I need to squat down now. Or if I could sense that he laid down, like whew this is hot or something, I might give him a little pat on the leg or something …”
How romantic. I guess that’s why they both wear thumb rings.
