John Raygoza

Syndicates on The Verge

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?

Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes […]

Debbie Does PowerPay

Every time I ask my fake secretary Debbie to take a letter :: she uses purple ink … it’s daft not adorable … but there’s no convincing her.

“We’re talking to the banking system here Debbie :: for christ’s sake … use a word processor.”

… says me.

But I’m capital :: and she’s labor … and if I don’t let her […]

Boiled Gnome

You know I hate me some gnomes :: the hats :: the tiny dumb dancing :: the chirp chirp singing … and of course the fucking scamming. Maybe it’s not fair to judge all gnomes based on my limited experience with them :: but so what … I don’t have to be fair to gnomes. Fuck you gnomes :: […]

McGruff Grows Up

Begin lawyer talk in 3 :: 2 :: 1 … oh god make it stop …
Congress passed 15 USC § 6102 to tell the FTC to do something about people being buttholes over the phone :: this was back in the Nineties when Congress still did stuffs without needing to be tazed. It’s the FTC’s job to make the […]

Phones :: Lies :: & AudioTape

Remember when I made us all listen to Debbie :: a secretary in her mid-fifties making $26K :: getting scammed by a Utah boiler room for five figures? It was awful :: lots of people couldn’t listen to it all the way through.

Whatever!

I refuse to accept that. If you want to follow this story :: or be a part […]

Boiled Lemonade

When life hands you lemons :: tie life up at gun point and be like … how u like me now life?

… or at least assault a police officer :: violate your probation … and keep being a complete and total fucking junkie.

If only boiler room suck-job John Paul Raygoza had better taste in motivational wall hangings :: he may […]

The Truth About Gnomes & Dogs

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Says Jesus … maybe you’ve heard of him.

The J-man’s version of the truth is about putting your neighbor :: your brother :: your wife :: the widows and orphans :: the poor and needy :: the hopeless and […]

Frank Kern :: Call me!

John Paul Raygoza is the motherfucking devil!

Says y’all.

For realz!

Says me’all.

At least Frank Kern and his many incestuous couzins aren’t screwing over the elderly and the disabled with high pressure phone rooms!

Says y’all also :: probably just to irritate me.

What what what?!?

No fucktards! That’s EXACTLY who is screwing over the elderly and the disabled {plus anyone else who’s willing to […]

John Raygoza Scams Yo Momma

The John Raygoza horror story begins :: like so many grimm tales before it :: “Once upon a time” … or “Μια φορά κι έναν καιρό” as they say in Greece when they’re anachronistically speaking Greek.

Once upon a time {last month} I was reading Steve Salerno’s SHAMblog …

“I’ll admit that when this news alert arrived in my inbox this morning, I […]