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Syndicates on The Verge

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?

Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes […]

Debbie Does PowerPay

Every time I ask my fake secretary Debbie to take a letter :: she uses purple ink … it’s daft not adorable … but there’s no convincing her.

“We’re talking to the banking system here Debbie :: for christ’s sake … use a word processor.”

… says me.

But I’m capital :: and she’s labor … and if I don’t let her […]

Boiled Gnome

You know I hate me some gnomes :: the hats :: the tiny dumb dancing :: the chirp chirp singing … and of course the fucking scamming. Maybe it’s not fair to judge all gnomes based on my limited experience with them :: but so what … I don’t have to be fair to gnomes. Fuck you gnomes :: […]

McGruff Grows Up

Begin lawyer talk in 3 :: 2 :: 1 … oh god make it stop …
Congress passed 15 USC § 6102 to tell the FTC to do something about people being buttholes over the phone :: this was back in the Nineties when Congress still did stuffs without needing to be tazed. It’s the FTC’s job to make the […]

Phones :: Lies :: & AudioTape

Remember when I made us all listen to Debbie :: a secretary in her mid-fifties making $26K :: getting scammed by a Utah boiler room for five figures? It was awful :: lots of people couldn’t listen to it all the way through.

Whatever!

I refuse to accept that. If you want to follow this story :: or be a part […]

Boiled Lemonade

When life hands you lemons :: tie life up at gun point and be like … how u like me now life?

… or at least assault a police officer :: violate your probation … and keep being a complete and total fucking junkie.

If only boiler room suck-job John Paul Raygoza had better taste in motivational wall hangings :: he may […]

Popular Robot Mechanics

Newt in 2012!!

Wait :: what did I just say?

What the fuck is a newt? Are they dangerous? Is this what the Mayan and their sadistic calendars were trying to warn us about?

OMG :: RUN!!

No stop running :: or stay not running if you were already a doubter.

It’s just Newt Gingrich and his marshmallow orgy jowl sacks.

Newt’s running for President because he […]

The Truth About Gnomes & Dogs

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Says Jesus … maybe you’ve heard of him.

The J-man’s version of the truth is about putting your neighbor :: your brother :: your wife :: the widows and orphans :: the poor and needy :: the hopeless and […]

John Raygoza Scams Yo Momma

The John Raygoza horror story begins :: like so many grimm tales before it :: “Once upon a time” … or “Μια φορά κι έναν καιρό” as they say in Greece when they’re anachronistically speaking Greek.

Once upon a time {last month} I was reading Steve Salerno’s SHAMblog …

“I’ll admit that when this news alert arrived in my inbox this morning, I […]