Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

Christmas in July

Christmas in July

To all of our dear friends in successful plenitude:

Seasons Greetings from James Arthur Ray and the {mostly laid off} staff of James Ray International.

It’s been a busy year here at JRI. We are sure that you’ve had just as much success in your financial businesses as we have here at James Ray’s house of goodness and light.

The year started off harmonically with our annual New Year’s Gala for the members of the World Wealth Society. Everyone at that splendid event agreed that James was the one true God and the manifestation of absolute abundance … holy be his name. And almost everyone choose to act on investing in future prosperity by agreeing to pay $60,000 for another year of incredible JRI value.

Speaking of value, that is just what James Ray was taking from people this year. Thank you to the awakened souls who chose to give James value this year. You are loved, cherished, and thanked by us in bulk.

{When is NOW the right time to tell you about how we also killed some people? How about NOW? NOW maybe?}

Christmas came early for us this year. In July we had our most successful Creating Absolute Wealth event ever. All the seminar participants had a great time and got more than their monies worth of life changing experiences. Any rumors of secret deaths are pure speculation based on unharmonic views of what constitutes death. Let our holiday card photo be a testimonial of the manic good times we had at this important event. In fact, JRI cool kids Greg Hartle, Michelle Goulet, and Megan Fredrickson had such great times that they will never, ever, ever be the same again. Thanks James!

Of course, there have been the usual bumps along the road. Running a business can be tricky and we are not immune to mistakes just because we serve God On Earth. You probably heard about the incident in Sedona where the Angel Valley resort may have inadvertently failed to provide enough hoses. We would like to assure you that we are doing everything in our power to draw this matter to a complete silence.

Balance is Bogus!

During this blessed time of year it is important to remember the important things, like how desperately you want to be rich and live a life that is perfect in every way at every moment. What better way to say, “I matter to me,” than by sending James Ray International more of your money. We truly, and deeply, hope that you’ve valued the brain cleaning and like-mindedness training you have received from us enough to continue paying even if you aren’t actually attending seminars within this quantum reality.

Sending you our love right now,

Happy Holidays from all of us at James Ray International

>> bleep bloop

comments