In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
I want to tell you about The Greatest Vitamin in the World!!
Well :: I mean :: I don’t wanna tell you about the vitamins of course :: because you can just go buy some of those down at the store for like five bucks or whatever. No :: I’m talking about the opportunity to sell people on the opportunity to sell people on the idea that The Greatest Vitamin in the World is the key to future freedom from the reality of life’s realities.
It will only cost you whatever you happen to have :: and it might make you almost rich if you’re Donald Lapre … top turd in The Greatest Vitamin in the World turd pyramid. In June :: while I was busy with Death Ray being convicted of negligent homicide in an Arizona courtroom … Donald Lapre was being indicted in another Arizona courtroom on 41 counts of …
Linda Eaves is Naomi Dunford’s bitch :: according to Linda Eaves.
Being the bitch of a know-nothing loser is not recommended by The Salty Droid :: but my recommendations are rarely taken because I’m just a unicorn hater. If unicorns aren’t real :: then real life is real … and nobody wants to believe that depressing shit.
After an hour-long consult with the IttyBiz spider :: Linda finally settled on the basis for her Internet freedom business. I hope she won’t mind if I spoil the surprise and tell you … it’s granting wishes.
Do you want to attend SummerCamp with Naomi Dunford and learn all about how you can use full-body Spanx to make yourself look exactly like a chunk of chubby girl sausage?
I’m sorry that was mean :: Naomi doesn’t want me to be mean to women “bloggers” just because they’re destroying the lives of countless other women and children. But it’s really hard for me to heed the warnings of turnip headed turds :: and sometimes I just blurt things out. Please accept my apologies … you talking piece of garbage.
Well anywayz you can’t go to Dumbford SummerCamp because it’s too late :: it happened back in 2009 … just a few months after the Spider Shit Storm chat.
IttyBiz Summer Camp was what most Internet Marketing frauducts are :: a foolish and uneducated person who knows nothing about business or the Internet mumbling into a mic about business and the Internet with the delusional sense of authority that comes from circle jerking with other self-delusional fat girls … like Brian Clark.
Dr. Joost Meerloo was originally called Abraham Meerloo … but Abraham was not a very trendy name to have during the Nazi occupation of Holland.
Dr. Meerloo was a practicing psychiatrist when the Nazis rolled into the Low Countries. He continued to see patients for nearly three years under the stress of the occupation until his own imprisonment necessitated an escape to England where he served as Chief of Psychiatric Type Stuff for the Dutch forces. After the war :: before moving on to America and Columbia University :: Dr. Meerloo did extensive research on the use of coercive persuasion … conducting hundreds of interviews with the victims and perpetrators of the world’s all time biggest mind fuck.
In 1954 Dr. Meerloo testified on behalf of U.S. Marine Colonel Frank Schwable :: check out a fifty year old article about it on Time Magazine’s nifty full archive … ARMED FORCES: The Dreadful Dilemma.
Col. Schwable :: a Marine aviator :: WWII veteran with 23 years of experience :: and no less than the chief of staff of the First Marine Aircraft Wing {not exactly a vulnerable sissy} … confessed to his North Korean captures {as did many others} that the United States was using germ warfare against the North Koreans. Not only did Col. Schwable and the other soldiers make detailed confessions :: but most of them had actually come to believe their treasonous confessions were accurate.
