In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Sometimes white ladies kill their babies :: they probably don’t mean it as a favor to CNN … but it is one.
Last week the State of Arizona completed its case against James Death Ray. CNN is no longer covering the trial because they’re super busy looking at weather maps and buying new touch screens for zooming in on Wolf Blitzer’s beard. But they were back on the scene today in case the defense’s obligatory motion for acquittal was granted.
Syndicates have a hard time concocting new and original evil plans …
“Plans are for people who don’t have fucking syndicates!”
… says The Syndicate to itself as it sticks to the old plan :: cataclysmic {and ever growing} disruptions to that plan be damned.
The machinations behind the launch of The Video Boss :: as revealed by fake robots :: has served as the most vivid illustration to date of the corrupt and heartless tactics employed by these Syndicate windbags. But that’s not going to keep Andy Jenkins :: and his stinking-of-rot fake surfer compadres :: from releasing it again …
I’ve been looking for James Ray … have you seen him? He’s like a tall guy :: concave mouth :: spray on tan :: walks around like an angry chicken is nesting at the far end of his colon?
It’s not a big deal or anything :: it’s just that I found some of his pills near my grandpa’s socks … and I wanted to give them back. I know how serious it can be for a fake Samurai to lose his insecurity pills.
You’d think he’d be easy to find :: I mean this guy was so famous and successful that he had to start a company just to tell everyone about how famous and successful he was … and you can too!
But alas :: I guess if you kill enough people :: and spend enough months “woohooing” “friggen brunette asians” … the sheen starts to wear off.
CNN has stopped covering the trial :: can’t find no Felicia Fonseca AP articles :: Larry King is dead {allegedly} :: and Oprah quit so she could find a way to be worse {not easy … but possible}.
Cuban artist Geandy Pavon had to leave Cuba because he fucking hated the beach. Everywhere you look :: a fucking beach. I mean really :: it’s just slutty.
Some people like beaches … some people don’t. Some people like having basic human dignity … some people don’t.
Geandy has a project awesomely called “Nemesis” :: describe by me as light-on-real-estate smack downs.
Above :: the image of Chinese artist Ai Weiwei :: wrongly imprisoned by Stalinist bullshit :: projected hugely on the wall of the Chinese Consulate in NYC.
CNN is pulling its coverage of the James Arthur Ray trial :: probably because Luis Li is so horrible to watch. It is said that the sound of his droning :: arrogant :: little voice can cause diarrhea :: foaming at the mouth :: and dilated pupils. It’s not true :: but it is said :: so let’s talk about it for a couple of hours … Luis Li style!
I know you people are complaining to them. Good idea :: let um have it!
But also :: they were using a satellite van to pump the court’s feed out to the web. That’s massively expensive.
The court could pump out it’s own feed for almost no cost :: if they only would. Then lots of media outlets {and fake robots} could access the feed and redistribute it :: without needing to travel to BFE :: or brave the killer ants. But sometimes courts don’t know about using Internets. You may want to remind them {nicely} that they should learn … because the nation’s media outlets are nothing but rotting suckholes.
