In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Did you hear that Brad Fallon and Andy Jenkins are mega-fucking-douche-bags? Yep! You did. You’re welcome. And it wasn’t just one or two of you now was it? Oh no … it was fuck near all of you. The hush curtains are coming down … and the shit heads have NO IDEA what to do about it. Rolling on ……..
Brad and Andy are henceforth “BrAndy” :: cause they hate each other :: so that shit is funny.
That photo is unaltered {by me} :: and not classy.
StomperNet was sued by their fulfillment house for a significant amount. The complaint claims that they didn’t pay :: and then tried to use that fact to “leverage” themselves into a decreased price. Again :: not classy.
This is part four of a three part series on Sheeple :: Cause I’ll do what I want!!
“What the hell are sheeple?” :: asks no one. But then someone does ask :: because they struggle to understand portmanteaus :: and suddenly asking becomes all the rage and every last one of the sheeple steps up to the microphone and asks :: “What the hell are sheeple?”
James Arthur Ray :: and his herpes infested tongue :: has been refusing to answer questions for several months now. You might think that’s because he’s a spineless fucking coward and the hypocrite of the century … and you’d be right.
But Death Ray has been doing his own O.J. style “investigation” into the deaths he knows he caused. This week saw the release of two “white papers” which are the first work product from that fake-hunt for truth. “White Papers” is a strange way to describe what turns out to be letters from your criminal defense attorneys to the Sheriff about how you are super innocent in spite of all of the horrible FACTS. But James Ray is not a man attached to words and their natural meanings …
Quantum Physics = The energy of numerology + a can of spray on tan + “a rate of vibration”
James Arthur Ray :: and his shriveled useless nut-sack :: were frequent guests of the news media. The media asked tough questions like: “Don’t you just love the smell of rain?” :: and :: “Why are you so gosh dang awesome?” You can watch five glorious minutes of them wasting our time and leading us to slaughter here :: free of charge {you’re welcome}.
Over the course of several years :: Ray made dozens of different TV appearances. Local :: National :: Cable :: Business :: Oprah. The dude got around. But there is something strange about all these appearances. James NEVER goes off his script :: and the script never changes. Same words :: same inflections :: same lame jokes :: same awkward timing. Please enjoy three minutes of auto-pilot auto-answers ….
Each year the tiny town of GnomeVille has a pissing contest :: literally. The winner of the contest gets to spend several decades selling used cars in what the GardenGnomes call :: “the big people world!” :: One such lil’ pissin’ champion was turdy little troll {because even gnomes can be trolls} Mike Filsaime. After pissin’ big :: Mike did something none of the other gnomes had ever done :: he quit selling used cars. The Vicious Garden Gnome thought he could make more money by selling nothing :: for the price of a used car :: so he crowned himself a “guru” and has been giving trouble to “the big people” ever since.
This week Garden Mike and some of the top names in calling yourself a top name are going on a hot and sweaty vacation together. It’s time for the annual Internet Marketers Cruise :: Come and have your vacation ruined by the same slime ball mother fuckers that are ruining the rest of your life :: and as an added bonus if you act early and often :: you may receive one of three available STD’s.
