Baring His Testimonial

{video gone}

The Droid hears a rumor that Harlan Kilstein was paid a jaw dropping amount to write copy for Maria Andros. Perhaps part of the Platinum Not-Doctor Kilstein Copy Mentoring Mastermind Gold Package is a testimonial from the Dumpy ManBeast himself.

His Royal Pervyness features prominently on the sales page for Maria’s $3,000 Social Media Traffic Blueprint. The SM-B-Print {as all the kids are calling it} will show you how to make infinite auto money by using the Unicorn Power of video. Not-Doctor Kilstein is ready to provide some transactional lubrication. He extols the magnitude of Maria’s genius :: And tells of how she completely transformed his own video presence. Of course, it’s all ridiculous lies … poorly told. Lies that speak to the core of the product’s false claims. If the rumor is true then he also has a financial interest :: Which makes ANY kind of testimonial inappropriate … no less one in which the lies are bubbling out {reflux style}.

Let me explain a couple of things to you Harlan ::

1. Lies aren’t marketing :: They are just lies.

2. Never wear a sleeveless T-shirt again :: I’m mean come on! Have some fucking respect for the rest of us …

3. I’m taking you down :: No matter what! Have you considered floral arranging as a possible future career? I think you’d suck at it … but you’d suck at whatever … so why not give it a shot?

Now go and watch the god damn video people :: Why do you think it’s up there? The video better get as many views as this post does :: Or I’m going to start spraying random humans in the face with my ultra-urine ray. It’s painful and embarrassing.

>> bleep bloop