Via the colorful InBox of The Salty Droid ::

Date: Aug 12, 2009
From: “Lara Townsend”

To the owner of

It has come to my attention that you are illegally using a picture from my blog on your site:

It appears on this page:

The graphic was stolen from this original web page, owned by my company:

As you did NOT obtain permission to use my graphic, it’s fully copyrighted and you are using it in violation of US and International copyright law, please remove that picture *immediately* (within the next 24 hours) from your site.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this.

Chris Zavadowski

cc: Framme Law Firm, Richmond, VA

From: The Salty Droid

Dear Chris,

Thank you for your timely correspondence. The Robotic Committee on CatCrap has reviewed your claim and decided :: BiteMe! :: Wait … I shouldn’t have said that … it wasn’t very professional and I apologize. But seriously …….. BiteMe!

Sincerest Fake-Regards,
Salty Reginald Droid IV Esq.

cc: Jesus of Nazareth
cc: Prince
cc: Pre-Paid Legal

The sad thing about threats like this is that they work :: 99 of 100 people would immediately relent {robots not included}.

Mr. Zavadowski has no fucking idea what he’s talking about :: Yet he carefully crafts a tone that sounds definitive :: He uses conclusory words with scary connotations {like illegal and stolen} :: He pulls an arbitrary time line str8 from his ass :: He even appeals to the overwhelming power of “International Law” {clearly someone who doesn’t understand the intransigence of U.S. nationalism when it comes to matters of perceived sovereignty :: Not that anyone else does either because that’s a completely wonkish sentence and I’m just showing off}.

Chris says he’s cc’ing the Framme Law Firm :: But the actual email address on the cc is just to a box called “legal” on his own web server.  The Framme Law Firm is the Virgina provider for Pre-Paid Legal :: A service which gives you access to basic legal services {wills, simple contracts, speeding tickets} for as little as $26 a month. Complex copyright litigation for unsympathetic plaintiffs who have suffered no damages isn’t a part of the package.

Guess what else I can do without even coming close to violating your “copyrights” girlfriend?

This ::

banner of fools

The Internet’s #1 Blog :: Shocking! I’m glad you told us it was number one because that is not the number I would have guessed.

and this::

King Coach

My fake vote for Coach of the Year went to Alex Ferguson :: But I guess I can see how it might have gone to Chris the D-Bag from Virginia.

Despite what the Bastards and Bullies might tell you :: Content creators don’t have absolute exclusive rights to things put into the public sphere.  If you have a picture of yourself and a notorious FELON :: You are both blind drunk :: You have an ice bucket on your head and the Felon has underwear that read “Twitter Rockstar” on his :: Don’t put that shit up on a “blog” which is just a content free sales funnel to various dubious info products.  If you do :: then when a truth telling robot decides to use your picture to illustrate a running theme about the duplicitousness of an entire “industry” :: you won’t be able to do anything but whine like an ignorant baby.

However, I did put that photo up in a rush on a very busy morning :: And it didn’t meet my usual quality standards :: So while even my death in the streets wouldn’t mean the removal of that photo from my blog :: I have added a cooler border and a demon.  You’re welcome. {link}

Don’t speak to me again Chris {you punk ass fool} :: And tell your BFF Perry Belcher that you saw your “fully copyrighted” picture all over the “broke ass computers” in my “broke ass house.”

>> bleep bloop