How to Sell to Linda

http://vimeo.com/15299782 {video removed}

Linda Eaves is Naomi Dunford’s bitch :: according to Linda Eaves.

Being the bitch of a know-nothing loser is not recommended by The Salty Droid :: but my recommendations are rarely taken because I’m just a unicorn hater. If unicorns aren’t real :: then real life is real … and nobody wants to believe that depressing shit.

After an hour-long consult with the IttyBiz spider :: Linda finally settled on the basis for her Internet freedom business. I hope she won’t mind if I spoil the surprise and tell you … it’s granting wishes.

Wishes is a totally golden niche. Just think of all the people you know who have wishes. Maybe one of them would be a good fit for Linda’s … um … product? They don’t have to be fat :: but that would probably help put them more into Linda’s wish granting wheelhouse.

Linda used to be fat :: then she had America’s favorite surgery so she could be not fat. Now she’s ready to help you do the same :: says Linda on what amounts to her sales page …

Are you almost – but not quite ready to have weight loss surgery?

My business is to guide you through the weight loss surgery crazies, including the number one question:

Is having weight loss surgery right for me?

Wow … nope! That’s definitely not a business. That’s definitely not even close to being a business.

Where would Linda get the fucking ridiculous idea that :: {strong feelings about something that’s happened to her} + {the Internet} = {career full of fun passive monies}?

Listen to her list them off :: it’s quite shocking …

http://vimeo.com/27952353 {video revomed … in it Linda listed the inordinanate number of make money online frauducts she’d purchased and stored on her harddrive}

Linda :: I’m going to tell you something :: brace yourself …

… you can’t make money online.

They lied to you.

They only sell wishes that can’t be granted.

>> bleep bloop