In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
James Arthur Ray :: frumpy parasite :: is going to fucking jail {one hopes}.
Death Ray continues to hard-sell the dream :: but the dream has died the death of a dream that never lived.
When Mr. Ray’s house was recently foreclosed on, his parents took him in, and he has since resided in their home in Oceanside, California. [Defense Presentence Memo]
Did you know that black people like using the Internets just as much as white people?
Yep :: it’s totally true … they love it!
But the blacks have high standards :: having grown accustomed to special but equal facilities created with their specific concerns in mind … or something. They can’t be settling for no white man’s Internet … I guess.
Maybe those are some of the considerations that led Stephen Pierce to found Black America Online {or maybe it was the love of other people’s money}.
From a 1997 article by Peter Kaplan in The Washington Times {not available online} …
1 in 25 Americans are sociopaths / psychopaths / conscienceless-freaks … 4% … holy fuck! … that’s way more than you thought … assuming you’d ever bothered to thought about it.
20 of 25 Salty Droid targets are sociopaths :: hopefully :: cause that’s kinda the point.
Frank Kern is a family man … didn’t you know? He talks about it all the fucking time … so it must be true. I’m sure he’s not just intentionally trying to humanize himself in order to lubricate the process of doing something very inhuman :: because that would be manipulation … and your “main man Frankie” ain’t like that.
But sometimes mommies and daddies fall out of love :: and even the fakest of marriages fade into San Diego divorces. Call me India Lawrence Kern {as seen on The Salty Droid} :: tell me something I don’t know!
I heard about Irwin Frank Kern’s divorce months ago :: but I didn’t care … because I don’t care. All these motherfuckers are going to get divorces … cause they are only capable of caring about the happiness of the d-bag in the mirror. But it seems now everyone’s heard about Frank’s folly :: because suddenly “frank kern divorce” is trending on my dashboard.
Turns out that Irwin broke the news himself {sort of} in a recent pressure sales webinar …
A few years ago NBC was all about dry humping James Arthur Ray. They :: and their lazy affiliates :: brought him on multiple times as an “expert” on finance :: or success :: or whatever the fuck.
“Oh James! You’re so steroid & fake tan adorable. Love me! Tell us all about the success of being an Oprah guest. Your book has the word wealth in the title :: what’s it like to have infinite wealth :: success :: and happiness? I think the viewers would love to know. Oh what’s that you say? You give free seminars? Super duper super duper! The good people of Minneapolis should get out and take advantage of that.”
{/recycle}
That’s how I started a fake robot post 15 months ago about Dateline’s not-so-good Death Ray special … Deadly Retreat.
