In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
More charges need to be brought against motherfucking bastard James Arthur Ray … right this second!! What in the hell is wrong with this lame ass country? But I suppose I already made that point.
Munger Tolles & Olsen’s request for a retrial in the death lodge case has been denied … because it was stupid and they are crap lawyers who will get you put in the jails rich corporate guy who is currently reading this five years later.
The foreman of the jury had the following to say :: in a must read article by Marc Duncan :: about the Munger Tolles & Olsen defense …
“I don’t know of anybody on the jury who thought that was a valid defense.”
Good point … it was all very stupid because very stupid is what I usually expect from Munger Tolles & Olsen. James Ray should have asked for a public defender after the first time Luis Li said :: “ants … literally.”
“Eight of us wanted manslaughter, and the other four felt that he wasn’t aware of all that those people were going through.”
The jury wished they’d heard about the death of Colleen Conaway :: so that the other four could have come around to the truth.
Life coaching is not a unicorn :: it’s fucking real. Just ask life coach Tim Brownson. You can even say fuck when you ask him :: because as Tim tells us in his twitter profile …
I’m not your average Life Coach. I swear, I’m occasionally grumpy and I don’t take life too seriously. I’m highly experienced and very good at what I do though.
He swears :: all the big boys are doing it now. Dad says he shouldn’t :: but he does it anyway … fuck you dad!
It’s probably best not to do your own viral marketing campaign for my site during a run-up to a ShitStorm :: unless you have a “career” death wish {not to be construed as a death threat [allegedly]} … but maybe I just don’t know cause I’m not a problogger.
Above are the pageviews for the last seven days on the FakeRobot and ChubbySpider websites. Her views peaked on the 30th :: the day after her fake death threat post. But with a little {/lot} of help from MetaFilter :: she couldn’t quite surpass the number of people she was driving to MeanSite2. According to bigger-than-life-size pile of cow crap Naomi Dunford …
“We’ve received over 100,000 visitors over the last 48 hours and an outpouring of support that defies my imagination.”
Dave Navarro and Naomi Dunford are having an affair … they’re shagging … they both betrayed their families for a bunch of shagging …
… or something.
I guess :: that’s what everyone tells me … but thankfully I didn’t witness it myself. Oh and also … I don’t give a shit.
Every person I asked about this situation immediately started in on the shagging. Haven’t you people ever noticed how I write about fraud rings?
I told Dave Navarro that I was coming to his cybertown :: and asked him if he’d like to talk about it first. Not something I usually do :: but I am of the opinion that Dave isn’t qualified to be a heartless bastard … still being in possession of a heart.
Dave told me that he’s a Salty Droid reader … and that he would have something to say. He then proceeded to offer up his whole :: I’m not having an affair … Anthony is a crazy fundamentalist Christian … blah blah blah
dot dot dot
I DON’T FUCKING CARE!!!!
Once I made it clear that my questions would not be about Jesus :: or whose bed he wants to sleep in … the conversation ended.
Dave Navarro wanted to be an Internet Marketer. Like lots of you people :: he wanted to be less of a cog in a big unthinking machine. He wanted to have more time for his family :: and more time for himself. He wanted increased certainty :: and less fear of the future. He wanted things to be different for his kids than things had been for him.
Internet Money!!!!!
FREEDOM!!!!!
It started like ten years ago :: books :: CD’s and DVD’s in overly large thud packaging … Tony Robbins.
Five years ago it started becoming the real deal. Time :: money :: and belief … ever more to the unicorns.
Take action :: action taker!!
But making money online is hard :: and Dave barely was. Then came Copyblogger :: because everybody needs a tribe … a place to fit in … a niche. And it’s easier to get ahead if you work together :: in fact :: as everyone eventually learns … it’s ALL about working together. You don’t need qualifications :: a product :: or something to say … you just need the right set of frenimies.
