In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Jeff Johnson :: best known for having a fanged vagina face :: has been banned from YouTube for reasons that Jeff Johnson can’t possibly imagine with what little brains Jeff Johnson has inside of the oddly shaped head that helps attach Jeff Johnson’s lying mouth to Jeff Johnson’s turd blackened heart.
That was a really long sentence :: so Jeff Johnson is probably done reading this post even though it’s about Jeff Johnson. Readin’ and writin’ and understandin’ is hard for Jeff :: so his multi-word YouTube banned me diatribe must have been a real labor of {narcissistic} love …
Good title :: except it’s too long :: too dumb :: a conjunction is capitalized in violation of grammar school level grammar :: and YouTube is not correctly capitalized in violation of grammar school level web knowledge … but otherwise awesome job guru.
It was like a 6.66 on the Shit Scale :: one of the highest SS numbers ever registered on the fake robot blog.
The Shit Scale is a very scientific {trust me} measure of something’s FUCKING TRUTH in relation to the hype-truth / cult-truth / lie-truth to which it relates. High Shit Scale evidences reveal the blackness at the core of the unicorn machine :: and have a tendency to cause Shit Storms. Oh shit :: here comes some now {watch out for turds!} …
Dean Graziosi named his recent frauduct flop Rock Bottom :: and gave it an “it’s all downhill from here suckers” logo. It would be funny if it was intended to be ironical :: but comic irony is so clearly out of Scammy Smurf’s intellectual range … so it’s just an example of massive stupidity and terrible marketing.
Still :: after a slow start {and middle} Dean managed to “sell-out” of rock bottoms {emphasis original}…
“I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about how many people are jumping in with the Rock Bottom Blueprint, but if I don’t keep you updated, I couldn’t forgive myself.
As I mentioned in an earlier email, we spent some of Sunday and early this morning, reconciling the orders. We found we had some duplicate orders, some canceled orders and to top it off, emotional (and honest) pleas from folks that wanted in but missed the deadline.
So we found a way to squeeze a few more people in and today I opened up some new spots for the Rock Bottom Blueprint.
AND – I CREATED AN EVEN LOWER PAYMENT PLAN!
That’s right! Until those slots are filled, or until midnight, whatever comes first, you have a second chance to get in if you missed the first time around.
But you really have to act now. This isn’t a dress rehearsal.
Seriously people :: if you don’t get screwed out of $2000 RIGHT NOW! :: then you’re losing out on the opportunity to get boiler roomed for even more fake success later.
… but then we had to pause to talk about newts and Twitter spammers and such so I could mention that I was quoted in one of America’s original science magazines. Woot! Nerd-gasm! Wanna talk some more about that? Cause I will …
No?
Okay fine :: but as long as we’re on the subject of stupid Twitter bullshit … let’s linger for a moment on turd eating chumpsicle Brian Clark.
Brian Clark is a copyblogger. A copyblogger :: for those of you not in the know about dumb stuff :: is like a problogger who uses all of his copying skillz to make him some serious shoemonies that he shoves in his brogan. I think :: maybe … something like that.
Either that or it’s a totally fake thing :: talking about a totally fake thing … and then charging people totally real money for that totally fake thing. But that’s just me guessing based on facts and research and interviews and informants and three epic years of lingering around the bottom of the bottom with a data recorder and a bad attitude.
