Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

Proctor vs Schirmer :: Rumble in the Bumble

Do you know The Secret?

I sure as fuck don’t :: But I guess some people think they do. They made a movie about it, and a book, and blah blah blahyada yada yada.

I steadfastly refuse to attack The Secret … So there is no fucking way I’m going to make myself read about it. There is already enough depressingly stupid garbage on my reading list.

“Why not attack The Secret … it seems pretty shady?” says you. “Suck it!” says me, “Mind your own!” The Secret was at least passively endorsed by Oprah {here}. I’m a pretty brave little Droid … but I’m not fucking insane. I don’t want NO trouble with the Queen of Chicago … You hear that Oprah? NO TROUBLE!

However, one turd egg laid by the tellers of this Secret {whisper whisper} … was FuckFace David Schirmer. He paired up with fellow Secreteer Bob Proctor {here} :: and started distributing Proctor’s “Life Success” program in Australia. “Life Success” … hmmm {ALERT :: Stupidity Sensors at Dangerous Levels} autorun.attackSequence-7 Manual Override run.StayCalm/fear_Oprah

Apparently, Bob and Dave had a lovers quarrel that ended with Bob suing Dave for a Divorce. These things happen … it’s always hardest on the children. But sometimes Daddies turn out to be schemers who couldn’t trade their way out of a garbage pale lined with Vaseline!

Here are the Court Orders from their break-up, saved as a public google doc {link}. Basically, Schirmer can’t use Bob’s name, or any of Bob’s company names, to sell his crap ever again. I guess Bob thought being associated with Captian DickHead was bad for business. But notice the last point of order ::

“the Respondents pay the Applicant’s costs of these proceedings agreed at $60,000.00, in equal monthly instalments of $5,000.00 with the first instalment payable on 1 May 2008 and each following instalment payable on or by the 1st day of each subsequent month.”

WTF? What kind of BullShit is that? Schirmer owes money to people all over the place :: Employees, Students, Investors, Church Members … Pimps, Hos, and Gangstas {preceding list may contain improvisation}. Yet for this entire year he’s been laying out $5,000 a month to Bob Fucking Proctor! Something tells me {and it’s probably GOD} that it’s Schirmer’s VICTIMS that need to be compensated with whatever limited funds DickHead Dave has left. Bob’s life is already full of LifeSuccess … yet he and his lawyers are getting first dibs on the Schirmer Corpse.

Justice is down … lying bloody in the street … and we just keep shoving sticks into her eye holes.

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