David Schirmer :: blowhard conman :: has been in my blackbook of chubby scummy girlfriends since way back when. The first paragraph of my first post about Schirmer pretty much tells the whole story …

“He steals money.  He runs investment scams.  He runs self improvement scams.  He rapes handicapped koala bears.”

Smart.  Somebody around here is fucking smart {hint: not you!}.  Make sure to notice the adorable naiveté of early model Salty Droid …

I embed Schirmer’s The Secret appearance in the post … and then I mock it {surprise!}.  At that moment :: I …

Remember when I first got banned from Twitter and I was all like :: {link}

“And I’m confident that I’ll be right back.  I love Twitter :: And it’s fucking FREE.  Spam is a complicated problem :: And so is rapid growth :: They’ll get it figured out.”

Well I was obviously wrong :: And I apologize to you.  Accuracy is important to me :: So I’d like to issue this correction. I, in fact, do not love Twitter.  They blow!  I’m banned for good. Any new account I set up gets …

Have you been suspended from Twitter? NO! You haven’t!  Because you aren’t fucking punk rock enough.  You’re all like :: “Did you hear about Michael Jackson? #rip #MJdead” :: And everyone else is like :: “Yeah I know! #kingofpop #omgosh” :: And then Oprah gives you a golf clap :: And everyone fucking hugs everyone :: And the shiny “New Media” Cup gets passed around so that each person can kiss their own reflection.  blah blah.
On a completely unrelated subject {wink wink} :: Let’s look at some graphs :: Because …

David Schirmer has just released a fantastic new product {fantastic used loosely} :: FatDaddy needs him some money … NOW-ish.  The Debts .. They Call.  Here are the Promo Tweets {2 of 5 total tweets this week} ::
DevilDave Just uploaded my Stockmarket & Gold reports … my accurate predications will shock many people
DevilDave Just uploaded my Stockmarket & Gold reports … my 2009-10 predications will shock many people
I think it will “shock many people” to find out that “predications” is a word … because it certainly doesn’t look like a …

Dear Member:
This is to notify you that we have removed or disabled access to the following material as a result of a third-party notification by Schirmer Financial Management claiming that this material is infringing:
Squirmy Schirmer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1LlWJ4mFTs
>> bloop
It seems DevilDave Schirmer and I don’t share similar taste in movies.  I guess I’ll have to defriend him on Netflix.
The offending video was an accompaniment to my Schirmer’s Seppuku post.  It contains footage from A Current Affair’s excellent multipart expose of Schirmer.  They set his punk ass up to think he is doing …

Do you know The Secret?
I sure as fuck don’t :: But I guess some people think they do.  They made a movie about it, and a book, and blah blah blah … yada yada yada.
I steadfastly refuse to attack The Secret … So there is no fucking way I’m going to make myself read about it.  There is already enough depressingly stupid garbage on my reading list.
“Why not attack The Secret … it seems pretty shady?” says you.  “Suck it!” says me, “Mind your own!”  The Secret was at least …

Two weeks ago I wrote an adorable post about GrandPa Scammer David Schirmer {here}.  I left a series of unpleasant comments on his dripping-with-evil YouTube videos.  Now they are all deleted {took his pathetic ass a full week to notice}, and I can no longer comment on any of his videos.  Standard protocol when dealing with the likes of me ::
But he left one up {the BEST one} ::
SaltyDroid: Hey Dave. Do you do a seminar about living a parasitic lifestyle :: Taking from others :: Burning ALL bridges :: …

The Salty Droid is trying to make a new friend.  David Schirmer.  He steals money.  He runs investment scams.  He runs self improvement scams.  He rapes handicapped koala bears.
Now he’s gonna be a Twitter expert and scam the Tweeps.  He’s already blocked me twice:  for {this} and {this}.  I guess if I’m going to get him to Date me ::> I’ll have to take my romantic gestures to YouTube ::

The Secret: 7 Steps To Unlimited Wealth {Comment Moderation Turned On}
Wow!  You’ve really hit rock bottom eh Dave?  You can’t even think …