The Selmedica Scam - Part 1
23 Mar 2009 :: by sd :: Comments
Friend of The Droid AimeesBlog assembled some interesting links about Mother-of-All MotherFuckers Bernie Madoff {here}, including a link to the archive of his past web sites. Interesting idea :: I wonder if there is an archive of the Evil Jowls medical fraud …
QUERY{in.random.PissPoor/French} –> Est-Selmedica dans les archives?
Oui! c’est {Selmedica Healthcare Web Archive} Ooh la la!
Recall that in Perry Belcher’s idiotically cheese-fest YouTube “confession,” he blows off the medical fraud incident as FDA/Government gotchaism {here}. That’s an easy lie to believe because the FDA sucks :: And government frequently proves itself utterly incompetent in all conceivable ways.
From the Evil Jowls “Field Trip” Scam ::
“Did he deserve to lose his entire business over these mistakes? In my opinion (and in the opinion of many other knowledgeable individuals)…NO. Could he have fought it? Yes. But to get his life back and to avoid any embarrassment to his family, Perry made the hard decision to shut down his business and settle with the State.”
Ladies :: To The WayBack Machine!!
Selmedica Fertility Drug :: Ovulex :: {WebSite in 2006}
This Bottle-o-Nothin was marketed as an infertility cure. Nothing fucked up about that :: Women don’t take that shit seriously at all :: Right Evil Jowls?
“One of the scientists at Selmedica Healthcare, the makers of Ovulex™, had read a particularly heartbreaking story about a woman who had nearly committed suicide because her depression had made her so despondent.”
Oops :: I guess he DID know that it was serious. Well, then don’t fuck with the hopes of these ladies too much ::
“After a long R&D process, they came up with the unique 100% botanical formula that is now known as Ovulex™. They were overjoyed when their clinical studies and tests began to show that the ingredients in Ovulex™ were actually helping woman to become pregnant
Because it worked for the women in those tests, and over 94,000 more women since then, you know it will work for you – guaranteed”
Wow! 94,ooo is a lot of previously barren pregnant chicks :: I’m sure these claims can be substantiated then ::
“After working with 28 different Universities in the United States and internationally, 3 independent testing labs, and over 450 national press and media contacts, we found…
99.4% of all people who used Ovulex™ as directed reported a positive result.
93.7% said that their infertility had completely vanished…”
{fake coughing} Funny Story {more fake coughing} –>
::
Selmedica Anti-Depressant :: Welatonin :: {Website in 2006}
“We ended up working with 28 different Universities in the United States and also internationally, 3 independent testing labs, and over 450 national press and media contacts to look at Welatonin™ and try to pick it apart.
Our own team also performed exhaustive studies – and here’s what we found…
99.4% of all people who used Welatonin™ as directed reported a positive result. 93.7% said that their depression symptoms had completely vanished.
Selmedica Vaginal Deodorizer :: Enzara :: {Website in 2006}
“We ended up working with 28 different Universities in the United States and also internationally, 3 **independent testing labs, and over **450 national press and media contacts to look at Enzara™ and try to pick it apart.
Our own team also performed exhaustive studies – and here’s what we found… 99.4% of all people who used Enzara™ as directed reported a positive result and 93.7% said that their vaginal odor had completely vanished…
Since that time more than 94,000 women have successfully used Enzara™ … you know it will work for you– guaranteed!”
There looks to be more than 30 fake drugs under the Selmedica brand name. The SAME LIES are shamelessly recycled between the various drugs. The exact same fucking numbers Perry?? How could you possibly be that stupid?
Evil Jowls didn’t just make up a “couple” of fake claims that the government disagreed with, as he now insists. EVERY MOTHER FUCKING thing about his business was fake. There was no research, no testing, no studies. There were no drugs. There were no scientists, and there was no science. There were no testimonials. There were no doctors, no labs, and no lab coats. There was NO REAL COMPANY at all!!
It was just one High School Dropout :: Ten pages of poorly written scam-copy :: And an infinite supply of snake oil for some sad-ass peeps who were already suffering.
>> bleep bloop
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