BlogWorld & New Media Expo co-founder and CEO Rick Calvert needs me to be wrong :: because if I’m right … then he and his sham of a scam disguised as a convention are very much part of an ugly and shameful problem. But I fucking doubt I’m wrong :: which is why instead of agreeing to give a BlogWorld keynote … I scared Rick Calvert away with some super easy questions.
Rick likes thinking about tacos :: not about his own culpability in the suffering of others … so he was none to pleased …

Utah is a pretty great state … if you’re a fucking scammer.
You should move there … if you’re a fucking scammer.
You won’t even have to join the local religion :: which is approximately as old as Sears … although think of the networking opportunities you’d miss. Some of scamworld’s shrewdest regular offenders are regular attenders of the Latter-day Saint sunday seminar series. While Texas scammers might be teaching you to invest all your money in silver :: Utah scammers know that the key is burying the silver in the ground … it’s the …

This fucking freak is gonna eat your granny :: hard … not in the sexy teen vampire way … that plus the Utah Arts Festival in this week’s Salt Lake City Weekly.
Phone Predators is the third of three Eric Peterson articles about how the “this is the place” founded by Brigham Young {for his multitudinous wives} has become “the place” for flagrant fraud against the vulnerable.
Let’s be honest :: it was actually in last week’s issue … and you already missed the Utah Arts Festival {it was lovely}. I was gonna try to be a …

“It was 10:45 p.m. on a cold night in January 2012 when a black car slowly pulled into the driveway of Johanna Quinones’ Sandy home and parked with the engine running.”

The car belonged to Utah’s corrupt and oafish Attorney General Mark Shurtleff. The ridiculous Mr. Shurtleff was escorting one of his criminal boyfriends :: Sov Ouk … on mission to intimidate and torment Ms. Johanna … Sov’s long-suffering ex-wife.
Johanna met Sov on a vacation to the United States in the 1990′s. Quite ironically :: she left her LDS family in …

This is totally happening  … here’s the one I’m showing you.
SUBJECT: Jason Jones Interview Invitation on The Holistic Survival Show
Dear Jason,
After recently becoming familiar with The Salty Droid, Jason Hartman, host of the highly rated Creating Wealth Show and its affiliate show, The Holistic Survival Show, would like to conduct a brief 20-30 minute interview with you (via phone or Skype) regarding your expertise in the field. We, at The Holistic Survival Show offer the critical life skills to protect the people, places, and profits you care about in uncertain …

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?
Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes article about the move …

“In Internet years, AOL has grown long in the tooth and seems incapable of playing nice with the toys it buys. There is a great deal of …

It’s fun to tell jokes about Black America Online :: because it was called Black America Online … and that’s funny.
Black America Online.
See? Funny.
The failed techno-blaxploitation of what was to become the uncoolest of uncool tech companies == funny.
You thought you got mail :: but you got Shaft … up to here.
Ha!
Anywayz :: I’m sure it wasn’t funny to the people involved … and they’d like to smack my face off.  But investing money into new {or old} business ventures is a great way to lose money. Most businesses fail …

You know I hate me some gnomes :: the hats :: the tiny dumb dancing :: the chirp chirp singing … and of course the fucking scamming. Maybe it’s not fair to judge all gnomes based on my limited experience with them :: but so what … I don’t have to be fair to gnomes. Fuck you gnomes :: go away and fix some stuff with your dumb little tool sacks.
The Gnome I know is in The Syndicate :: has terrible ideas for family vacations :: has anachronistic disrespect for the …

The Salty Droid doesn’t do interviews :: so don’t bother asking me. Go suck yourself!
But it has been almost three years :: and my fake secretary Debbie thinks it’s time to start saying yes rarely … instead of never. She’s usually almost always wrong :: but if you make the little people think that their opinions count … then you can pay them less!
Paying people less :: aka The American Dream … get some less pay for yourself … TODAY … you deserve it!
So if you want to hear Jason being serious instead …

Newt in 2012!!
Wait :: what did I just say?
What the fuck is a newt? Are they dangerous? Is this what the Mayan and their sadistic calendars were trying to warn us about?
OMG :: RUN!!
No stop running :: or stay not running if you were already a doubter.
It’s just Newt Gingrich and his marshmallow orgy jowl sacks.

Newt’s running for President because he has no self-awareness. Newt cheated on his wife while hounding another douche for doing the same. It’s called inexcusable hypocrisy :: and you ain’t supposed to be able to show your …