In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Seems like a pretty fucking annoying headline :: because JJ is so obviously not a hero … but he was in fact a local hero. It says something scary dangerous about the particular local.
Here’s Utah’s sitting Attorney General at the time :: Mark Shurtleff … accepting the Best of State Humanitarian Award in the stead of “his friend” Jeremy Johnson.
James Arthur Ray :: aka inmate 267823 :: used to have a house in Beverly Hills … 90210. He paid an eye-popping $4 million for it :: although at the time he could afford it because Oprah said he knew The Secret … so he was totally rolling in other people’s money.
But times change :: people get killed … you know how it goes. Suddenly money to pay for an overly expensive legal team seems more important than money to pay for an overly expensive home which houses a starkly empty life.
Death Ray listed his Beverly Hills home for $5.5 million the month after the deaths in Sedona :: it {short} sold two years later for $3 million … yet another harmonic epic fail. James Ray can control the universe with his mind :: but apparently his mind hates himself … one of the few things his mind and I can agree on.
One ripple creates another ripple in a beautiful sequence of ever repeating ripples until :: !!boom!! … holy fucking shit you’re so fucking rich right now. You make Warren Buffet look like Ed Dale :: and all you had to do was sign up for a free app … or something … it totally works.
According to the lie-marketing :: Rippln is going to be bigger than Facebook + Twitter … so text your mom about this opportunity right away.
“In fact, some are saying it’s the biggest breakthrough since email.”
In fact :: some are saying “in fact” when they mean … fake fact.
I don’t know how Rippln is gonna work :: they’re pretending it’s a secret. But I can tell you how Rippln is gonna work :: without knowing how it’s gonna work … because scammers are fucking predictable.
Last week :: the FTC filed an amended complaint in the case against one of Utah’s {via New York City} worst boiler rooms … The Tax Club. The new complaint seems aimed at shoring up the government’s argument that the dozens of shell companies :: merchant accounts :: and bank accounts involved … were all in service of the same fraudulent scheme … and that most of the profits from that scheme had flowed through to just two assholes.
Michael Savage and Tedd Johnson … d-bags extraordinaire.
According to the complaint :: The Tax Club fraud scheme was able to bilk victims for $220 million … and that in just the last four years. It’s a shit ton of harm :: and a shit ton of money … enough to attract a swarm of Internet ambulance chasing lawyers. Or at least that’s what one might expect :: if one didn’t understand how totally fucking clueless your average lawyer is regarding the Internet. Sadly {and fucking pathetically} :: lawyers are far more likely to fall victim to a web scam {or represent one} than they are to sue a web scam.
Ed Dale is the Underachiever {dot com} :: or if you prefer … he’s the Tubby Nerd. Both of his nom de plumes attempt at conspicuous self-deprecation :: but end up as self-aggrandizement … due to the pathetic condition of Ed Dale’s temporal realities.
“Underachiever” wrongly implies that at least something has been achieved. And while “tubby” is clearly true enough :: being a “nerd” requires more than buying an iPad and using Facebook to rip off a bunch of grannies.
I’m thinking something like UnderTubby would be more accurate :: more descriptive … and more fun.
UnderTubby got his start in Internet Marketing by sidling up to Irwin Frank Kern. Kern had just finished giving all his money to the FTC :: and he needed some mores … so he and Dale released the Underachiever Method. A frauduct that disappointed anyone with any reasonable expectations. UnderTubby’s primary selling platform :: the 30 Day Challenge … oozed up from remains of the Underachiever Method.
