In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not rowing varsity crew at Harvard; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.
Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)
SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE
Jessie Conners Tieva is a scammer who’s spent most of the last ten years fronting for various Utah fraud operations. She’s a grinder–always out on the road, talking about doing things she’s never done. Jessie is one of the few scammers who I’ve had the pleasure of heckling in person. When we met in a half empty hotel conference room in Chicago six years ago, she was fronting for the Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Utah-backed op.
This week Jessie and her husband Matt Tevia were busted by the FTC and the Minnesota Attorney General for operating a short-lived hustle called Sellers Playbook.
The Fake News should be running the headline:
Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice” Busted for Fraud
This is my most viewed video. It’s amazing. I won’t pretend that I don’t love it–the greed, the panting, the epic drama of secret audio recordings.
It’s been floating around the internet for eight years now, but it’s not allowed on YouTube. My heartbreaking work of staggering genius has been taken down from the big social media sites an absolutely uncomical amount of times.
This article is brought to you by the advertising that brings you Slate.
I started sometimes reading Slate when Slate started publishing stuff to read. Slate, an exclusively online news magazine, was one of the first of its kind. I thought it was going to change the world. Back then I naively thought that just about everything that was happening on the fledgling web was going to change the world.
Oh, M&M’s have their own website now? This is going to change the world!
Bloomberg reports that top YouTube stars can expect poverty level wages. That doesn’t surprise you because you’re sophisticated (and good looking, and smart, and conscientious) and you read a site taglined: “… you can’t make money online.” But other–lesser–people are surprised.
Straight to the guts:
Breaking into the top 3 percent of most-viewed channels could bring in advertising revenue of about $16,800 a year, Bärtl found in an analysis for Bloomberg News. That’s a bit more than the U.S. federal poverty line of $12,140 for a single person. (The guideline for a two-person household is $16,460.) The top 3 percent of video creators of all time in Bärtl’s sample attracted more than 1.4 million views per month.
That’s almost enough money to buy gas, drive to the library, and take a nap.
One in 3 British children age 6 to 17 told pollsters last year that they wanted to become a full-time YouTuber. That’s three times as many as those who wanted to become a doctor or a nurse.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney–and obviously you cannot–then screw you.
That’s how the law “works” for real people. The system is built for, and run by, powerful synthetic people. Corporations, cartels, partnerships, shells, professional associations, unions, and government agencies are “the people”–the people are the pawns.
When Herbalife needs lawyers to fight off fraud claims, they get to pick from the biggest and the bestest. It makes no difference that their business model is a blatant deception bringing about a humanitarian crisis. Members of the legal monopoly don’t have to care about petty triflings like morality. Herbalife’s got the cash to put up a huge retainer–and to pay legal bills larger than the operating budgets of most companies–so the “best” lawyers and law firms are immediately available to them… less than no questions asked.
“Our new name, Herbalife Nutrition, reflects our strategic transformation as a leader in the nutrition industry.”
They’ve strategically transformed into a leader in nutrition. But they don’t sell food; they sell food replacements isolated from commodity crops and industrialized into unnatural pills and powders. It’s the opposite of everything that science, and life, has to tell us about nutritiousness.
The shifty internet marketing outfit Cambridge Analytica, attached to the shifty editor of internet propaganda site Breitbart.com, attached to the shifty too-old-for-the-internet billionaire Robert Mercer; mined Facebook data and used it to target voters.
Also, if you need any Ukrainian prostitute type stuff… that’s a yes for Cambridge Analytica. They do it all - from spamming, to expounding on spamming, to pretending that they know a guy who knows a guy who does murders while spamming.
On September 18, 2017, myself (an online activist) and my longtime friend Etan Mark (an offline litigator) filed a federal class action lawsuit against Herbalife’s fraudulent Circle of Success event system.
The suit doesn’t accuse Herbalife of being a pyramid scheme, or make any claim for damages related to the purchase of Herbalife’s products. Instead, it focuses on a cartel of shady creeps who run a dirty side business mandating that victims spend small fortunes attending a never-ending sequence of expensive events.
Live events are the backbone of the Herbalife scam, and of the scam industry in general; the draw and the glue that makes all of the life ruining possible. It can’t be “too good to be true” when you can see other people believing that it is true. The best weapon against nice people is other nice people.
Quick shout out to the Hypocrite Saint Russell Brunson. Recently Russell “generously” donated $50,000 of the money his boiler room hustled off of unsuspecting victims :: in order to name one of the Virgin America planes {whoopty fuckin’ doo}. I thought maybe he could use some help coming up with something original {dot com}.
Russell gives {venereal diseases to glasses of milk} :: and gives {‘kay?} :: and gives {the only thing he does more is take}. This past August he took part in an effort to raise money for the Just Like My Child foundation by selling people on his useless bullshit hussle. The event was called Paid for Life :: because if you act now you can be “paid for life” :: I guess :: I don’t know :: Let’s face the facts :: The Koenigs/Glyck family totally sucks at nomenclature.
The Salty Droid was sleeping off a 2 day bender of attack blogging :: the results of which marked the beginning of the end of Perry Belcher {fond memories link} :: and the immediate end of my much loved {at least by me} Twitter account.
Greg Hartle {seen here partying like it’s 1999} :: one of the senior staff members at James Ray International :: still had his Twitter account on July 25th and micro-blogged this upbeat gem at 1:54 pm pacific …
“Just witnessed a woman jump several stories down onto pure concrete. I gotta say it was disturbing. I’m sending her my love right now.”
Colleen Conaway’s death this July did not make the news. James Arthur Ray and his staff didn’t even think it was significant enough to justify the timely identification of her body :: or an announcement to the other participants in the intensive $4000 per head seminar that she had tragically died during the reckless outing.
Jane Doe was dead :: off their hands. Let the State and her family clean up the mess :: they’d keep all of her money :: it’s a win win for James Ray International and James Ray International :: both HUGE winners.
But now the gross injustice done to Colleen comes back to slap Death Ray in his ignorant :: lying :: stealing :: megalomaniacal :: fat face. Last night Colleen’s story was finally told in the television press. Stories ran on both CNN and on ABC’s Nightline. Neither of which can be embedded here because the old media companies are both blind and stupid.
Andy Jenkins and Frank Kern :: they hardly know each other :: except for during the moments in which they are best friends forever {no tongue … well maybe … who knows}.
Looks like Andy has made a few recent trips to the pork store {probably for pork!}. His quantum mass has increased by 40%. The Droid recommends a change in mindset :: and Bacon Lite.
Where once there was a neck :: now there are only memories :: and rolls that leak sweat. Don’t blame Andy. He’s just stressed out about his life collapsing all around him :: and about how he’s always been **NOTHING **but a sham. It can be tough on a girl. It’s the same thing that inspired him to get the “Hitler as a Boy” haircut. And why :: we’d assume :: underneath this ridiculous suit he’s wearing an old fashioned cloth diaper with a pink pin … just to complete the effect.
Salty Droid: So I believe we had established that you are a Mormon Internet scammer living in an RV down by the Mississippi river :: Does that sound right Teacup?
Jason Jones: Close enough.
Salty Droid: I see you’ve thrown down more visuals :: looks fucking official :: you’ll excuse me if I don’t read it.
Jason Jones: The last post produced some very interesting results as expected, but there were still a few residual doubters. So please enjoy my law license, my law school diploma, and the envelope in which they remain permanently stuffed because putting this kind of crap up on your wall is really super douchey …
SD: Not to mention putting it up on a blog where you are pretending to be a psycho robot.
