::{MUG SHOT}::  __||__   ::{HAMMER SHOT}::   __||__  ::{FAKE SHOT}::

Yesterday, The Droid accused Perry {Evil Jowls}Belcher of telling a BOLD FACE LIE about his adventures with Twitter and MC Hammer.   It was the sort of lie that a short, chunky, slightly-retarded 7th grade boy might tell to an attractively tall 9th grade girl. Unfortunately for Evil Jowls, he wasn’t on the playground having an adorably Freeks & Geeks type moment ::> Rather, he was being paid to speak as an “expert” on Twitter!!

Cliff Notes Version {aka for dummies}{aka idiots guide}{aka short}:

• Evil Jowls fails to get the attention of The Hammer on Twitter
• He makes a plea to his twitter followers for help
• 900 followers enthusiastically tweet the MC on Perry’s behalf
• Hammer’s manager immediately calls Evil Jowls.

Oops!  … Funny Story … None of that actually happened!

Evil Jowls doesn’t have the fucking courage to respond to The Salty Droid.  But when friend of The Droid {and hero of mustachios} Liam Vickery requested the truth from Perry ::> He got this ::

EvilJowls:  That story happend EXACTLY as I told it. Never thought I would need to prove it but I saved the DM’s

Evil Jowls:  I don’t know the number was exactly 900 but if filled up screen after screen. @hammer and staf were very cool about it.

What DM’s did you save shit-for-brains??

You tried to contact Hammer by DM exclusively :: Then you sent DM’s to ALL of your followers asking for help {instead of just sending ONE tweet} :: 900 of your followers did miraculously send a DM to MC Hammer :: And that somehow filled YOUR SCREEN with messages??  Pray tell How!!  Direct Message means the message is fucking DIRECT!! They wouldn’t pass through your DM-inbox you stupid stupid man.

That lie is even dumber than first one {seemingly impossible feat}!!  At least the first lie was technically possible.

Perry’s other defense was to report The Droid as Spam and then delete the tweet:

Evil Jowls to @Spam :: twitter.com/SaltyDroid <— simply spews hate. Personal attacks are his sole intent and purpose as stated in his profile, Thanks

Hey Twitter “Expert” Perry Belcher:  Did you know that deleted tweets still show up in Twitter Search?  Yep. They sure do! {evidence} And when people click on “View Tweet” they can see that you’ve deleted a tweet in shame.

I hope reporting me as Spam at least made you feel a little better  ::>  Because it didn’t change the FACT that you FLAT LIED during a professional speaking engagement ::>  And it didn’t make your lies any less pathetic, ignorant, or manipulative.

Maybe you’d get a better response by complaining to @Mommy

::> bleep bloop

UPDATE :: 3/12/2009

Oops … another funny story –> it actually did happen! {new post}

Poor Evil Jowls ::> Not even smart enough to defend himself when he’s right.

-------------

More fabulously hilarious writing ::

1. Perry Belcher lies about MC Hammer? Perry {Evil Jowls} Belcher gave a speech at StomperNet...
2. Perry Belcher: Convicted Asshole Introducing Perry Belcher >> Evil Idiot >> and new...
3. Perry Belcher: Hater of Asteroids Perry Evil Jowls Belcher speaking at the Austin Internet Marketing...
4. Perry Belcher: On Bullshit According to Perry {Evil Jowls} Belcher, Perry {Evil Jowls}...
5. Perry Belcher: Second Second Chance My fellow Americans: Major combat operations against Perry Belcher...

:: read one now before you die of stupid.