Continuity of Dunces

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Question :: What is a continuity program?

Answer {in the form of a question} :: A fuck-stupid way to say monthly billing?

Answer {in the form of an answer} :: Yep!

Here’s how it works ::

Phase I :: You charge someone for something {preferably nothing because that’s cheap to make}

Phase II :: Keep charging them on a regular basis until they stop you :: Because maybe they won’t. Maybe they are too sad, or too shy, or too stupid. Maybe they are getting in so much credit card debt that they’d rather get kicked in the kidneys by a donkey than look at the statement.

Phase III :: Sweet success! {Warning :: tastes like Xanax and Tears}.

Evil Jowls latest YouTube video is a not-so-subtle plug for the “Continuity Blueprint” {link} :: A smelly turd of Scam-trepreneur Ryan Deiss. Matt Ballsack Bacak is also currently promoting it to his list of prey. If you give Ryan $2000 :: He’ll tell you why it’s better to bill people more than once {hint :: for the money}.

It’s unfortunate this legendary ‘Blueprint’ wasn’t purchased by the head retards at Circuit City. It might have saved the company. The executives all had MBA’s and rich daddies, so mastering Phase I just happened naturally. A massive 80% of their profits came from the sale of nothing {aka extended warranties}. If only they had instituted Phase II and put customers into Continuity Warranties ::

$300 iPod –> Profit $25

$300 iPod + $100 warranty –> Profit $125

$300 iPod + 3 year Continuity Warranty at $100 per month –> Profit $3,625

And How! Company Saved …

“But wait,” shout the disgraced executives over the sound of their lives incinerating, “That won’t work … People will just get pissed and start buying everything on Amazon.” Yep! But Perry and Ryan will still have your $2000 {plus whatever additional they made on the Continuity Blueprint Continuity Program} ::

Sweet Success

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