Just Like My Taxes

20 fucking 10 has officially arrived!! Three cheers for sequential numbering systems! Hip Hip … oh just forget it.

This nascent decade of our hopeful new millennium … has sucked some serious ass. Let’s just put it behind us … and move forward.

Step One in Operation Move Forward :: Pay your 2009 taxes to the blood sucking Man {so he can funnel it to the black hole banks} :: and then hide your ledger at the bottom of your storage closet so you can forget all about the year that people stopped buying.

Of course :: maybe this year sucked so bad that you won’t owe anything on your taxes. But if you were an attendee at the Mike Koenigs and Frank Kern 2008 Paid for Life fund raising spectacular :: then you probably made heaps and heaps of delicious money in 2009. Frank boasts on the sales page {link} that he makes $200,000 per month using the systems he planed to teach at the Paid for Life event. And you can too!!

The headline text for the sales page ::

“How To Create And Market Money-Getting Systems That Pay You Forever”

Exactly. It’s as easy as 1 - 2 - 3 … ∞

“This is an info-marketing business model where people pay you …in order to get the opportunity to keep paying you.”

Act Now :: and we’ll throw in a NEW {never before used} unicorn saddle :: absolutely FREE! {normal unicorn fees may still apply}.

“Be Warned: The last 2-day workshop taught by Frank Kern was the legendary Serializer class, which sold for $10,000.00 per person … and sold out in 54 minutes.

This workshop is equally valuable…and just as limited.

But it’s available for a fraction of the price because we’re committed to raising money for the Just Like My Child foundation.”

So just make a tiny little $1,000 donation :: and you’re in on this discounted Kern experience. And as an added bonus :: “you will receive a receipt from a registered 501c3 non-profit foundation to deduct 100% of your donation.”

Awesome! A thousand dollar write-off :: plus you get something you would have liked to purchase anyway. It’s a great deal. The same deal was on offer at this year’s Paid for Life event.

Tiny little problem :: it’s total bullshit.

:: IRS Publication 526 ::

**Contributions From Which You Benefit **

If you receive a benefit as a result of making a contribution to a qualified organization, you can deduct only the amount of your contribution that is more than the value of the benefit you receive.

If you pay more than fair market value to a qualified organization for merchandise, goods, or services, the amount you pay that is more than the value of the item can be a charitable contribution. For the excess amount to qualify, you must pay it with the intent to make a charitable contribution.

Let me break that down for the stupid among us {ie Mike Koenings and Vivian Glyck} :: People CAN’T TAKE ANY write-off at all for these events. Zero :: Nada :: Zippo. They’re both advertised as being priced substantially BELOW their fair market value :: and compared to prices that are routinely charged for these seminars :: that is an accurate claim. $1,000 is cheap for this kind of rip off.

This Hall of Shame false advertising actually encourages customers to violate the law :: and makes them vulnerable to penalties and interest. It’s odd that Mike and Vivian didn’t know this basic tax rule :: because they are confident enough in their tax skillz to self-file the uber-complex charity tax forms without the help of an accountant.

The Droid wants to hear what happened at these two Paid for Life events from some brave {and forever unmentioned} attendees ::

1. Did they sell products?

2. Were part of the proceeds from those product sales intended to benefit Just Like My Child?

3. Was there a mention of writing off the cost of the product purchases as well?

4. How are you enjoying being “paid for life” so far?

All of this boring talk about IRS forms … and violations … reminds me of how I just filed a Form 3949-A in regards to the Just Like My Child foundation.

Oops.

>> bleep bloop