Decaffeinated Self

Let’s talk about Rachael. It’s obviously what Rachael wants to talk about … other NotRachael things aren’t interesting to Rachael.

Rachael Acklin is the “Caffeinated Elf” :: and she would love for you to join her Rachael based community … the Caffeinated Business Community. For just $20 a month you can access all of the advantages of being in a forum with an absolute nobody like Rachael Acklin.

Rachael’s caffeinated about page lists her various qualifications to bizness coach you to infinity and beyond …

“My oldest two kids were born during my first marriage. After having dated for a year, being engaged for a year, and being married for six years, my first husband left and never came back …

My third child was born during my second marriage …

My fourth and last child was born during this, my third marriage …”

Etc. etc. etc. :: like all good resumes … it focuses on the activities of the uterus.

Rachael Acklin’s impressively active uterus caught the attention of uterus wielding luminary Naomi Dunford. Rachael guest posted on IttyBiz two days before Dave Navarro walked out on his family and she reminded people to …

ASK FOR HELP, because if you are scared shitless and can’t think straight about all this stuff, you should talk to someone. Talk to Naomi. Talk to me – I’m good at helping people get unstuck, and I have a few coaching spots open right now. Talk to the other smart people who always show up in the comments here.

Get coaching :: it’s our only hope … no I mean it’s your only hope.

If you can’t afford to pay premium uterus pricing for Naomi or Rachael {or both} :: then maybe you can afford “smart people” Tim Brownson who commented on Rachael’s post in his typically useless way. Tim Brownson is a life coach …

… so if you have a life he’s ready to start helping himself to it.

Have you ever met someone and you just knew for sure that you were meant to be together? It’s like true love … only the total fucking opposite. It’s like love at first sight … except with afterwards vomiting. Rachael had me at hello with this hella bad sales pitch mind fuck whatever type thing …

She starts it off with …

“Once upon a time, I was alone.

Yes, I had my children and my husband with me, but I was alone in the great work that I was beginning.”

It’s not a god complex … more like just … a Moses complex.

All my life, I’ve been the weird one. I read books and climbed trees as a child …

Gosh that it is weird. Between that and the uterus she’s a real stand out.

Anywayz :: just when I was starting to enjoy telling you about Rachael Acklin the Caffeinated Elf … she decided that she wanted to be Rhiannon Llewellyn the Brand Harmony Studio instead. Cause nothing says Brand Harmony like changing the name of your brand for no apparent reason.

At Brand Harmony Studio you can talk to Rhiannon for 90 minutes for $500 …

The Harmonic Alignment Session is $500, and gets you going from where-you-are-now to where-you-want-to-be.

Harmonic Alignment :: Harmonic Wealth :: whatevs :: the point is … unicorns.

Rachel/Rhiannon Elf/Harmony is an insignificant little blip with no reach or audience … she’s downstream of Naomi in the shark-eat-shark food chain. I shouldn’t fucking care about her :: I don’t want to :: I tried not to :: but …

There’s something about Rachael.

>> bleep bloop