The Great Pyramid {of Herbalife}

Herbalife is fucked … ask me how!

But seriously.

Don’t ask me how :: cause I was already going to tell you … keep your stupid questions to yourself.

-f-u-c-k-e-d-

Over the past three decades Los Angeles based {via the Cayman Islands} Herbalife has pretended to sell various products that pretended to promise to make you thin and pure or whatever … like a rainbow. […]

You Got This

President Obama :: and his The Choom Gang having ass … wins a second term … and promptly moves the Capital 2 Seattle.

W00t! … what a fucking relief.

Fake robots don’t care about the politics of politics :: but let’s face the facts here people … Mitt Romney is from Scamworld. That article on The Verge :: or this one on […]

Goodbye SaltyDroid :: Hello Boring

Do u love this blog?

Well then fuck you :: cause this ain’t no blog … and if you really loved it you’d've already known that.

Here’s how to blog :: in five easy steps …
1)  write an opening sentence that attempts to be quippy … and fails
2) add a couple of lines about this or that problem … or this […]

BlogWorld III :: Attack of the Journalists

BlogWorld & New Media Expo co-founder and CEO Rick Calvert needs me to be wrong :: because if I’m right … then he and his sham of a scam disguised as a convention are very much part of an ugly and shameful problem. But I fucking doubt I’m wrong :: which is why instead of agreeing to give a BlogWorld […]

Syndicates on The Verge

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?

Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes […]

Minion Uprising 2.0

Are you with me … or are you with me?

Or wait … are you against me?

WTF!  You’re against me? What did I ever do to you?

Oh I ruined your life? Okay … that makes sense. But the rest of you have no excuse.

This fake robot site is tough to read :: and understand … because it’s fucking awesome and […]

Consumer Protection Summit :: Suits vs Unicorns

Four score and seven years ago …

… starts a famous speech that I can totally plagiarise because its author and his nut-job wife both died before Mickey Mouse invented copyright tyranny. It ends like this …

… that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom … and that this government of the people :: by the people :: for the […]

James Ray Trial Verdict

“The Law” of Attraction has failed James Arthur Ray :: he’s been convicted on three counts of negligent homicide.

It’s really not much of a surprise that The Law of Attraction has failed him :: because he’s a massive dickhead. Even fake spiritual laws hate massive dickheads.

But The Law of Attraction has also failed The Salty Droid :: whose laser […]

Jeremy Johnson Arrested for Jeremy Johnsoning

Unfortunately :: Jeremy Johnson isn’t available to accept this arrest because of a previous non-arrest-type obligation in Costa Rica. His BFF :: Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff :: will be accepting on his behalf …

No wait :: that was something else :: that was the “Humanitarian of the Year” award :: received for saving Haiti by spending just a tiny fraction of […]

James Arthur Ray :: Always Be Closing

Final days in the trying trial of semi-professional manipulator James Arthur Ray.

After many months of testimony :: many days of arguments :: and literally millions of Luis Li literallys :: Yavapai County Attorney Sheila Polk began closing arguments in the faux sweat lodge case. She started like this …

“Three people are dead who should not be dead …”

Quoting Felicia Fonseca’s posted everywhere […]