Herbalife is fucked … ask me how!
But seriously.
Don’t ask me how :: cause I was already going to tell you … keep your stupid questions to yourself.
-f-u-c-k-e-d-

Over the past three decades Los Angeles based {via the Cayman Islands} Herbalife has pretended to sell various products that pretended to promise to make you thin and pure or whatever … like a rainbow. The fake claims used to be bold enough to occasionally irritate the FDA into partial action :: but by now the product claims are more like … “comes in nine flavors …

President Obama :: and his The Choom Gang having ass … wins a second term … and promptly moves the Capital 2 Seattle.
W00t! … what a fucking relief.
Fake robots don’t care about the politics of politics :: but let’s face the facts here people … Mitt Romney is from Scamworld. That article on The Verge :: or this one on Mother Jones :: or this one on Salon :: or this crap right here on The Droid about the kid torturing assholes … barely even touch the surface of it.
It’s scary …

Do u love this blog?
Well then fuck you :: cause this ain’t no blog … and if you really loved it you’d’ve already known that.
Here’s how to blog :: in five easy steps …
1)  write an opening sentence that attempts to be quippy … and fails
2) add a couple of lines about this or that problem … or this or that cat
3) talk briefly {or ad nauseam} about something you read in some other publication somewhere
and/or
3) talk briefly {or ad nauseam} about someone else’s blogish opinion about something they read in some …

BlogWorld & New Media Expo co-founder and CEO Rick Calvert needs me to be wrong :: because if I’m right … then he and his sham of a scam disguised as a convention are very much part of an ugly and shameful problem. But I fucking doubt I’m wrong :: which is why instead of agreeing to give a BlogWorld keynote … I scared Rick Calvert away with some super easy questions.
Rick likes thinking about tacos :: not about his own culpability in the suffering of others … so he was none to pleased …

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?
Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes article about the move …

“In Internet years, AOL has grown long in the tooth and seems incapable of playing nice with the toys it buys. There is a great deal of …

Are you with me … or are you with me?
Or wait … are you against me?
WTF!  You’re against me? What did I ever do to you?
Oh I ruined your life? Okay … that makes sense. But the rest of you have no excuse.
This fake robot site is tough to read :: and understand … because it’s fucking awesome and it takes hard work to be in on the jokes. People don’t want to work hard … they want to get diabetes while watching other people dance with the stars.
I don’t …

Four score and seven years ago …
… starts a famous speech that I can totally plagiarise because its author and his nut-job wife both died before Mickey Mouse invented copyright tyranny. It ends like this …
… that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom … and that this government of the people :: by the people :: for the people :: shall not perish from the earth.
Fuck yeah!
Cause free.dom is a struggle :: it can progress or it can decay … but stasis is a non-option. Project America’s government of …

“The Law” of Attraction has failed James Arthur Ray :: he’s been convicted on three counts of negligent homicide.
It’s really not much of a surprise that The Law of Attraction has failed him :: because he’s a massive dickhead. Even fake spiritual laws hate massive dickheads.
But The Law of Attraction has also failed The Salty Droid :: whose laser focused thoughts :: feelings :: and actions :: had the jury returning with a bucket full of tar and telling Death Ray to strip.
But life’s not about what you intend :: …

Unfortunately :: Jeremy Johnson isn’t available to accept this arrest because of a previous non-arrest-type obligation in Costa Rica. His BFF :: Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff :: will be accepting on his behalf …
No wait :: that was something else :: that was the “Humanitarian of the Year” award :: received for saving Haiti by spending just a tiny fraction of the amount {of other people’s money} that he was gambling away. Philanthropy!!
Fortunately :: Johnson actually was available for arresting two weeks ago in Phoenix. IRS agents grabbed him up at the …

Final days in the trying trial of semi-professional manipulator James Arthur Ray.
After many months of testimony :: many days of arguments :: and literally millions of Luis Li literallys :: Yavapai County Attorney Sheila Polk began closing arguments in the faux sweat lodge case. She started like this …

“Three people are dead who should not be dead …”

Quoting Felicia Fonseca’s posted everywhere article …

“Three families have lost loved ones who should not be gone,” Polk said, raising her voice in the crowded courtroom. “Three people are dead because of the conduct and the …