This is relevant to my interests
07 May 2010 :: by sd :: Comments
“Frank Kern Has Retired From Teaching Internet Marketing And Now Only Accepts Private Clients And Platinum Members” :: reports the various turd sucking scam sites of Irwin F. Kern.
Oh noes! That’s fucking heartbreaking. And he was doing so much good in the world … providing such value. Why do bad things have to happen to good people?? wink wink I know what your thinking: “Does this mean that The Droid’s Perry Belcher is a Misogynst List Control Bonus is going off the market? Nope :: rest easy sweet lambs :: that excellent bonus will be available until the sun implodes :: get it NOW before Evil Jowls runs out of cocks.
So why is Irwin turning his back on free money {and Jason Moffatt blow jobs}? After years of bilking millions from unsuspecting victims selling the “secrets” of online “marketing” :: Kern is telling his followers that the real money is offline :: and he’s just going to focus on that for awhile. You know :: this whole Internet thing is just a fad :: municipal marketing is the new cutting edge.
Highlight the word “retirement” and then click on Google’s new “Translate from D-bag” function and you’ll find that “retirement” is fake-guru speak for “running from the law.” The last time Irwin let the FTC down his pants they froze all his ass-ets :: locked his accounts :: and forced him to go begging to mommy {literally!}. His settlement with The Man cost him $250,000 :: and made selling future bullshit biz ops a very dangerous proposition. But assessing risk is not the strong suit of the ConMan personality type :: and Irwin dove right back into the deep end.
Oh the regret! Oh the humanity!
One of the special features offered only to Droid platinum targets {other than a first page Goolge listing :: natch!} is a service called “Law Enforcement Assistance Non-Protection {LEAN-P}®” :: and it’s really popular with all the top felons in the “industry.” It works like this :: you get in trouble with the law :: and then I help them finish you off with info they’d be unable to attain on their own :: because you fucking disgust me and I’ve had enough of you. And the best part is :: it’s FREE!!
“But Droid, I can’t afford that … my merchant accounts were recently suspended and I’ve been ruined! How can I get in on your LEAN-P Trouble with the Law program?” :: screams some other Syndicate d-bags. No worries. The terms of Irwin’s FTC settlement required him to keep a detailed accounting of EVERYTHING he’s done over the last seven years. All his partnerships :: affiliates :: monies in and out :: products :: sales materials :: and customer complaints or refund requests. And I’m sure he accounted for all his non-cash transfers like the ones revealed in the StomperNet docs and discussions. So his problems are your problems. Thanks Frank!
Debbie! :: stop chewing your cud and take a fucking letter …Dear Alphabet Agencies,
We have so much to catch up on. You wouldn't believe what
I've done with my hair. Looking forward to talking
with you soon.
Kind Regards,
sd
>>bleep bloop
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