The Year of the Dragon

2016 is over now.

It was the worst year ever :: with the possible exception of 2008 … 2001 … oh and also maybe 100% of the other years before I had access to decent broadband.

Life’s been all about plague / disaster / genocide / catastrophe / extinction / etc. … for hundreds of millions of years.

You weren’t so bad 2016 … get over yourself.

trumpistan

2017 is going to be all about Donald J. Trump {again}.

But not for me!

Fuck that guy … he ain’t my problem now.

He was going to be my problem. Because he was going to lose the election :: but win the game … by building a ‘holy shit’ marketing list that could have been worth more than a billion dollars in scam monies.

When Trump Org started mailing that ‘holy shit’ list Tai Lopez / Don Jr. marketing seminar offers :: the press would {as ever} fail to allow itself to understand the problem for reasons of self-interested expediency … and I’d feel like it was my problem.

But that didn’t happen. Instead :: Trump’s The President … and has access to enough nukes to melt the fucking moon.

Horrifying.

> > goodbye moon :(

But it’s not my problem.

I fight industrial strength scams :: that’s hard enough y’all … I can’t be saving the moon as well.

unless ::   

of course ...
   
would they start marketing to that mega-list anyway?

So :: I’m hoping it’s not my problem … but I guess you never really know with this dickbag.

Donald Trump is a conman :: not in the “all politicians are bullshitters” kind of way … but in the “late night get rich quick infomercial backending to a boiler room” kind of way.

Thus beginith the 9th year of The Salty Droid … holy fucking nine years.

For the last eight :: I’ve been trying to warn all you dumb dumb dummies that if we don’t make rapid changes to the crime cartel revenue model funding the internet {by eliminating it} … web scams would completely take over the world.

{cue circa 2010 eye rolling from all sorts of important people}

So now it’s happened :: and in such a spectacular way … it defied even my own insane expectations about just how insane things have become.

Of course it’s bad for America and society and humanity and all life on Earth :: but still … I did want to just say …

{dramatic pause}

I told you so!

Ah fuck! :: that felt so great … seriously … so great … suck it eye rollers!

Welcome to the year that scammers took over the world.

… best ever time to be SaltyDroid?
… worst ever time to be SaltyDroid?

I really don’t know :: but either way … it’s not going to be boring.

Trump’s win presents the future to me with bright font one word clarity.

inaction

That’s all it takes :: that’s all they want … inaction.

Scammers don’t need to change laws in their favor … because they completely ignore the laws. What they need-to-breed is reliable long-term inaction … and there’s almost nothing easier than getting nothing done in Washington.

But it doesn’t necessarily have to be a totally terrible thing.

Federal action :: the panacea of civil activism :: is clunky at best … blatantly counterproductive on average … and savagely corrupt at its worst.

K

In the first years of The Salty Droid … I’d write fun holiday posts reflecting on the year that was. In later years :: as the depth of the despair became more clear to me … reflecting on the year didn’t feel fun … and I used a couple years worth of holiday posts to tell you {and me} that I was going to have to quit us.

Jason decided to get his law license back :: and just start suing some scammer bitches … it won’t fucking change the world … but it’s not like I was really accomplishing anything anyway.

I couldn’t even keep this fake robot site consistently available on the Internet … and got myself banned from all the gatekeeping platforms. At least as a lawyer … some people could get some of their money back.

So that was the plan. It required getting a law license in my newish home state … retaking the bar exam ten years after deciding that ‘small pox nurse’ was a better job than ‘corporate lawyer’.

You can’t be a lawyer and a SaltyDroid at the same time … you can’t. FakeRobot half-lawyers telling hardass jokes for justice :: as a division of Scientology told the Oregon Attorney General … it’s ‘certainly not how reputable attorneys operate’.

… certainly not.

But then came the prospect of a miracle. Eliminate my disease ridden database :: serve the site as static rain from two levels of clouds … and I might become unhackable to anyone with a finite budget.

In 2016 :: for the first time ever … my site was always up for six uninterrupted months. Every single time I needed it … it was there. Every time someone asked Google about ‘Frank Kern’s net worth’ … it was there.

All of the sudden my original plan 👉 ignore everything and tell internet jokes forever! 👈 was back online. But now my backup plan … was also newly online.

It got me thinking … why can’t I be a lawyer and a SaltyDroid? Because it may cause “a certain amount of emotional distress” among Scientologists and their attorneys?

I’m pretty sure I just answered my own question.

I’m fuckin’ doin’ it.

Please feel free to pre-file your complaints:

:: Ohio Bar Ethics Complaints ::
Bar #: 0095384

Where should we start? {#alreadystarted}

How about maybe multi-billion dollar snake-oil hydra head Herbalife?

Carl Icahn :: President Trump’s new special advisor on regulatory reform … owns the biggest chunk of cult-Herbalife. Edith Ramirez :: who is not not a foe of the company :: is stepping down as chairwoman of the FTC … leaving three of the five commissioner slots open for The Donald to fill. I’m sure HotCarl will have some super duper great ideas about how to ‘reform’ the agency.

_inaction.txt

There’s gotta be more than one way to skin a dragon.

20.17

>> bleep bloop