Hurricane Herbalife

Herbalife-STS-SaltyDroid

“Attend EVERY event” :: Herbalifers are told … at every event. I’m too busy doing ________{insert anything else} to satisfy the EVERY standard :: but I did attend ONE event … which went way better than my Herbalife job interview. Here’s my staccato summation of an all day event at Herbalife …

music

clapping

success!

clapping with music

changing your life!

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Conscripted Consumption at Club 100

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“Who would like for their own kids to have the exact same life that they’ve had so far? That should be enough motivation for you to take seriously what I’m telling you. Do something different — am I right or not?”

… semi-shouts a Colombian trainer for Herbalife’s Club 100 to her audience of impoverished recruits.

“If you earn 2,000 or 3,000 dollars, and you teach your people to do the same on their club,

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My Herbalife Job Interview

I seriously need a new job. Nothing too fancy or anything :: just something that pays better than my current salary of less-than-nothing-plus-death-threats-and-torments-and-lawsuits-and-droolers. Shouldn’t be too hard to beat.

The minimum wage in Ohio {my new home base} is $7.95 per hour {$318 per week} :: so that’s like a huge promotion for me and stuff … I’ll take it!

But first I have to find it …

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Herbalife’s Bankruptcy Business

Michael-Burton-Herbalife-Bankruptcy

“I LOVE HERBALIFE …”

… is what Herbalife President’s Team member Michael Burton said to me :: unconvincingly … this past fall when I was fake robotic questioning him about his various scum sucking.

“I will be sharing the great health results of the products with people and possibilities of how Herbalife can help as long as I am on this planet.”

Says he … sounding so serious.

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Profit and Loss

Herbalife-Pain-in-the-Sky-Dreams

Not many families can functionally recover from a five-figure loss :: but Herbalife CEO Michael O. Johnson and his family certainly could … because he’s spent the last decade profiteering handsomely from hundreds of thousands of other {much poorer} families sustaining such losses.

Pictured above {and below} are just a tiny subset of those very real people :: with their very real losses …

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