Abundance of Bullshit

My fake secretary Debbie is on Ray Kurzweil’s email list because she’s all worried that medical progress won’t be able to keep pace with her “chain-smoking while tanning” lifestyle. She’d love to stop the smoke & tan madness :: but she needs it to cover up her diabetic pallor … so she depends on the science of future miracles for comfort.

Says Dr. Kurzweil to Debbie …

Dear Friend,

I’d like to reach out to you personally about a new book that I am very excited about:

Abundance — The Future Is Better Than You Think. This book is written by my dear friend and colleague Dr. Peter H. Diamandis, Singularity University Cofounder and X PRIZE Foundation Chairman, and Steven Kotler, science journalist.

The Future Is Better Than You Think :: assuming you’ve been thinking about it of course … which {let’s face it} you haven’t been because The Future is not what’s on TV right now. What’s on TV right now? It’s a question AND a way of life :: one with scant little room for books about science by doctors who can’t write everything they know about math on to a single half-used napkin.

Peter and Steven intend to start a new conversation in the world — one focused on solving problems rather than just being gloomy about them.

Take that The Society of Let’s Just Be Gloomy About It Engineers :: go suck yourselves … in the worst way. You had your chance {I’ve just been told} :: and you fucking failed {hate to be gloomy but it’s true}. We’re going back to the other engineers now … the ones who actually do engineering!

Debbie took a pass on the pre-order :: maybe she’ll read a book next year or something.

Now to the part of the story that’s about to make Abundance a part of the story :: an email from The Syndicate’s Jeff Walker about the same abundant book …

I just put up a new blog post that’s all about…

>>>ABUNDANCE<<<

The reality is that our future is a lot brighter than you think.

And this isn’t about some hippy-groovy law-of-attraction “land of milk and honey” thinking. It’s about cold hard facts.

This isn’t the hippy-groovy unicorn bullshit that Jeff & Pals are usually pushing on the unwary for life ruining sums :: this is actual information backed by facts … and hey if you want to conflate the two in your mind then that would be super awesome for Jeff Walker … professional bastard.

As an entrepreneur (or an aspiring entrepreneur), this stuff is IMPORTANT. You need to protect your confidence, and you need to protect your mindset.

IMPORTANT stuff here people :: you NEED to “protect your mindset” … which is totally businessish and not in the least bit cultish.

To the dumb blog post where SuperCreep Walker tries to sidle up to Dr. Diamandis unbeknownst …

I just got the chance to interview Peter Diamandis – the Chairman and CEO of the X PRIZE Foundation and co-founder (along with Ray Kurzweil) of the Singularity University…

Wait :: an interview? … what the fuck? The sidling is totally beknownst? Uhmmmmm :: objection!

If I could puke :: I just would have.

MIT and Harvard trained :: but I guess he can’t use Google {or Bing even} to find out that Jeff Walker hurts people … real people … right now people not the future fucking inhabitants of the utopiamatrix.

I guess I best explain to Doctor Doesn’t Do Due Diligence how an online confidence scam works …

1) You say you’re an expert on something {or on everything} … even though you’re undoubtedly an uneducated barely literate semi-moron.

2) You form a secret mafia like organization with other uneducated barely literate semi-morons :: go ahead and name it The Syndicate if you’re into descriptive naming.

3) Get other people in your mafia like organization to say that you’re an expert on something {or on everything} … even though they all know you’re an uneducated barely literate semi-moron {or a felon :: or a pedophile :: or a homicidal maniac}.

4) Sidle up to the lazy and ignorant press and let them spread the rumors of your experthood …

Thanks CNN …

Thanks all major news outlets …

5) Sidle up on unwatchful people with real credibility {that’s you Dr. D} to further distort the truth of your idiotness … and the insane falseness of your unicornian claims.

Joe Polish and Jeff Walker … really terrific job science journalists.

6) Gouge the shit out of unsuspecting victims :: charging them thousands and thousands for price fixed idiot turds …

7) Ensure the total suck out of your marks by backending to a Utah boiler room :: you’ll get half the loot … or at least that’s what they’ll tell you.

Boom!

Now youz gots monies and you can buy cars and blow and hookers and stuff … aka … abundance. It was so easy … and you only had to ruin tens of thousands of innocent lives in the process. Of course some of them will call you :: frantic and sobbing with fear :: and some of them will kill themselves … so this is where it’d be super useful to be a psychopath.

Dr. Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler’s {science journalist} negligence is especially unfortunate given that the title of their book :: Abundance :: is the absolute g-spot of cult-scam-doublespeak.

Ray Kurzweil and Peter Diamandis don’t mean “don’t feed the gloom” like Jeff Walker and The Syndicate wenches meant “don’t feed the gloom” when Jeff said …

“If people are tearing you down, then you need to avoid them. This can be tough if it’s your family, but you need to set boundaries. You need to create distance. And if your friends are tearing you down, it’s time to find some new friends.”

They don’t mean that you should turn your back on your wife :: like Dave did to Alison … if she starts to gloomily wonder about the ethics of your unethical paycheck …

They don’t mean that you should abandon all critical thought and make yourself a slave to the worst possible lies …

… but they might as well.

So in this :: my first fake robot book review :: I give Abundance – The Future Is Better Than You Think … one finger up.

I’ll bet you can guess which finger.

>> bleep bloop