Perry Belcher Reunion Show

Perry Belcher could store three fat ladies :: or one Newt Gingrich :: in his neck sacks. But that was a skill of little virtue in his battle with the fake robot :: which began with this March 2009 post. By September 2009 :: Evil Jowls had begun his capitulation in the comments of a post about this fraudulent Facebook ad …

That $56 million number is totally made up :: and it anyway includes mostly money made from Belcher’s decade long health fraud scam … detailed here in detail. The ad is a flagrant violation of Belcher’s probation {like almost everything else he does that doesn’t involve eating burritos}. He admitted as much in the comments …

First: My $56M career sales claim, while factual does indeed include sales from Selmedica, and that’s wrong.

Based on that I have decided to remove all career sales totals from my ads. If I ever decide to ever use career sales numbers in the future any sales I made from Selmedica will be removed from that total. Point taken.

Point taken. Well :: that’s good to hear … it’s a violation that cuts straight to the core of the probation terms … not to mention the original crime … so it’d be unfortunate for society if it were allowed to go on continuously unchecked.

But a few days later in private conversation with the The Droid :: Perry was back to claiming purity …

“Based on our conversations of late, I have recently sent in all my materials and activities (again) for review by the my lawyers, my probation officer, prosecutors and even the Judge in my case, especially the things you have recently brought to light, and so far everyone says I am operating within the parameters of my agreement.

So why is your take so different?”

I guess the Judge knows about The Syndicate … I guess famed Memphis criminal attorney Leslie Ballin signed off on a cartel-hyped muilti-thousand dollar how-to Twitter frauduct … I guess Tennessee Attorney General William Gibbons can’t understand how counting the proceeds from your computer crimes in your “and you can too!” Internet marketing is a violation of the law :: AND of the special conditions of Belcher’s probation …

You know … either that or Perry Belcher was lying.

Robots not impressed by lame liars :: and after approximately twenty “shut your fat lying face” email smack downs … Belcher decided to agree to most of my terms and fake surrender.

Many observers thought this was big mistake. “Belcher will never change” … “he’s suckering you” … “he’s still the behind the scenes turd-monkey in everything Ryan Deiss does” … etc. etc. blah blah blah.

Yeah … I know.

But I was testing … and watching. Not everything has to be done right now grasshoppers. Aggression paired with patience makes a robot warrior unstoppable :: some famous old Chinese person prolly said that shit … so you know it’s true.

Would it be better to isolate members of the cartel and pick them off by forcing others in the group to exert negative social pressures … or attack them all at once and let them sink sticking together? The latter is the obvious answer :: but the more naive me-at-the-time was partial to the former.

Within days of Belcher’s fake surrender :: The Syndicate started trying to push me off on Jeremy Johnson. “The Perry thing’s over :: the rest of our french for trade union is innocent … move along now smart ass.”

I’m so bad at moving along though. You get used to something … you know? And then you just don’t want to give it up until some useless fat people are incarcerated for an appropriately protracted period.

Belcher mostly never stopped breaching the terms of our agreement :: and I mostly pretended to ignore it excepts this one hilarious time. Oh and this …

… quite tasteful.

Every year {or something} Perry and Ryan invite people to their stupid offices for a wildly inappropriate fee. They used to call it a “field trip” and charge $10K :: but now it’s called a “Traffic and Conversion Summit” … and it’s only $997 {plus $2000 honor system}.

Perry Belcher’s bio from the sales page …

“The Wildcard” is considered the World’s greatest living conversion expert and one of the World’s top 3 living copywriters. Perry has sold HUNDREDS of millions of dollars worth of products online himself and BILLIONS for his private clients.

In addition, he is an international importer, a consultant to 8 figure plus companies, and a venture capitalist who now after his semi-retirement, spends most of his time buying and selling companies.

Perry retired from teaching in 2009, pulled all his products from the market, and canceled all future speaking engagements. The ONLY place to see him and learn from his vast experience is at this one conference.

He is a mesmerizing speaker and an infamous marketing legend. Don’t miss him.

So now he’s sold double the amount he stated two years ago when he admitted that the already bullshit $56 million figure incorporated his criminal earnings? He’s not gonna do that anymore :: point taken :: unless he needs to do it twice as hard for some reason important to ongoing fraud … of course.

Well … the truce is over you saggy :: neck-scrotum having :: felonious bastard.

Watch how hard my already metal foot can pound back down on the accelerator.

>> bleep bloop